Harry and Meghan: what went wrong, and why was leaving for the US the only option left?
Six months ago, Harry and Meghan pulled the plug from their royal position. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex wanted to take their own lives and eventually moved to the States, far from the hostile British press, and away from the royal golden cage. But what drove them to that drastic decision? In their book "Meghan and Harry - In Search of Freedom," royalty reporters Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand portray an escalating battle with rival palace teams and injured family members. The question remains whether Harry and Meghan will succeed in their new life as it is cold outside the royal family.
Flip Feyten
"Don't feel like you need to rush this", said William, "Take as much time as you need to get to know this girl": take all the time to get to know "that girl", there is no rush.
That's what the prince said to a madly in love Harry, when the brothers first talked seriously about his heady romance with Meghan Markle. It was well-intentioned advice from an older brother, who always felt he needed to keep an eye out to keep Harry from getting into trouble again.
"This girl". Harry reacted as if stung by a wasp. In those two words he heard all the prejudices he had feared against Meghan: an American, by color, an actress, divorced, a gold digger. But now they came from his own brother. And he was not alone.
A member of the royal family spoke of "Harry's showgirl." Another family member said to an employee “She comes with a lot of baggage”. And a high courtier had said to a colleague, "There's just something about her that I don't trust."
But besides that, Harry also felt personally addressed, treated as if he was not yet an adult. Perhaps he was, and William still wouldn't accept that Harry - already 32 at the time, a man who had been on the enemy line of fire as a front-line soldier in Afghanistan - could really vouch for himself.
Harry has a heart of gold, but he's incredibly touchy, sensitive, quick on his toes. In that respect a son of his mother Diana. William is the calm, the rational. Harry immediately takes comments far too personally. But on the other hand, there is a fine line between brotherly concern and condescension.
William felt hurt again because his brother did not want to see that he only wanted the best for him. (When William married, he had known Kate for eight years. Halfway through the courtship, there had even been a slight separation, so when they did get married, they knew very well what they got from each other.)
This girl
"This girl": That one comment was prompt deletion. Happy visits from Uncle Harry to the children of William and Kate became scarcer. Invitations from William and Kate were eventually omitted. When Harry and Meghan tormented in unison during their engagement interview that they had had so much support from the family, they were lying. And that was just the beginning.
At least, that's how Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand interpret the events of the last four years in their book “Meghan and Harry - In Search of Freedom”. They are both seasoned royalty reporters, and Scobie has often seen the couple up close while traveling and at charity events.
They insist that they have not had any conversations with Harry and Meghan for their book, neither “on the record”, nor “off the record”. But it is clear that this book is intended to give the Sussexes a voice, bring their side of the story to the fore, and that the sources in Harry and Meghan's circle of friends had their blessing to speak to the writers. Some tidbits and statements are so specific that the writers must have heard them almost no different than from Harry and Meghan themselves.
Blind date
In this way we get to know from needle to thread how the two got to know each other, which friends organized the blind date, and how quickly the text messages, secret messages via Instagram and dates followed each other.
Harry is not easily impressed, but with Meghan it was immediately as if lightning struck him. Meghan was also charmed: Harry has a heart on his sleeve, you shouldn't look for anything behind his words. And he is “every inch a gentleman”: he has exemplary manners. But most of all, what tied the two was their shared passion to change things for the better, and use their fame for good causes.
It goes fast: 13 months after their first meeting, they are already secretly engaged. Three months later, they officially announce the engagement. And less than six months after that they got married. All in all, it did not take two years.
But the difficulties - which will eventually lead to their departure from the royal family - are just as quick. It starts even before there is even an engagement. The mainstream press pounces on Meghan.
The Daily Mail describes "how the Windsors come to thicken their watery, thin blue blood and the pale skin and red hair of the Spencers with rich and exotic DNA." Meghan's mother is described as "an African American lady with dreadlocks, from the wrong side of the track", the neighborhood where she lives "bears the scars of gangster gangs".
Memo to Meghan
A typical expression of racism in the UK, the authors consider, is the question of who is or is not “authentically British”. In the same Daily Mail, the headline above an article reads: "Memo to Meghan: We Brits prefer real royalty over fashion queens."
It was the very first time in history that a “senior royal” dated someone who was not white. For Harry, it was the first time that subdued racism also touched himself. And he was beside himself with rage.
The Sun then had the headline: "Harry's girl on Pornhub". It turned out to be just a slightly daring still from the lawyer series “Suits”, which a Pornhub user posted on his favorite porn site.
Then it was time for Harry. He had to and would do something to protect Meghan: that eventually became a press release with a firm swipe at the press.
But at that moment his father Prince Charles is visiting Bahrain. His staff has been thoroughly preparing a diplomatic mission to three Gulf states for months, hoping for a great deal of media attention and much favorable reporting for Charles. That expectation is completely thwarted by Harry's robust press release, in which he actually implicitly confirms that he is in a relationship with Meghan.
That is, of course, world news, and that blows all interest in Prince Charles' visit to Bahrain off the table. Charles' executives are outraged that Harry has not answered their request to wait until Charles's journey is over with his communiqué. But Harry didn't want to delay: he felt that the woman he loved and wanted to protect took precedence over his duty to the royal family.
Merciless competition
Here comes something that the authors stress very much: the mutual frictions between different teams of court officials: that of Kensington Palace (William), that of Clarence House (Charles) and that of Buckingham Palace (the Queen and the rest of the family). According to them, there is a merciless competition between those court positions, and certainly between the communication staff of those three teams.
Who is allowed to announce what and when, it is of global importance. If one team messes up the communication strategy of another, it can have drastic consequences. It happens more than once that a team deliberately organizes leaks to the hated boulevard press in order to prank another team. That competition has always been there, and it will never change, say Scobie and Durand.
There are indeed precedents to mention. When Prince Charles and Princess Diana, Harry's parents, fought their bitter divorce, there was even talk of a "War of the Waleses" to describe the open war between their staff and communications workers.
And also when Charles hired communications strategist Mark Bolland a few years after Diana's death to boost his Camilla's image and prepare the public for a wedding, behind closed doors, a minor palace revolution was triggered. The man did his job so well that the other royal family members and their teams were in danger of being completely left in the dark. In the long run, Charles had no other option than to dismiss Bolland, even though he had done an excellent job at his assignment.
Sussex Royal
Becoming too popular is not a good idea within the royal family, and that is precisely what threatened to happen again with Harry and Meghan, especially after their fairytale wedding at St George's Chapel in Windsor. The newly-made Duke and Duchess of Sussex shot up like a meteor. In the New York Times, a journalist compared the popularity of the Cambridges (William and Kate) and the Sussexes between November 2017 and January 2020: 83% of the world's attention went to the Sussexes.
When they launched their own Instagram account @SussexRoyal, they had 1 million followers faster than the Pope. To be precise, they had 2.1 million followers one day, and that was pretty close to @KensingtonRoyal, William and Kate's account.
The Sussexes joined a section of the population that previously had no knowledge of the monarchy. And Meghan's mixed ancestry certainly had to do with that, allowing a whole new audience to suddenly identify with a member of the royal family. In addition, Meghan stepped into her new royal role almost seamlessly, and the Sussexes' first overseas trips and domestic assignments were a resounding success.
There is a danger that Meghan will outgrow Diana.
Sunday Times
Harry and Meghan were well on their way to becoming the biggest draw for the royal family. Their popularity was such that it became a threat to the rest of the royal family. Some courtiers therefore felt that they should be contained. At one point, a Sunday Times political analyst wrote, "There is a danger that Meghan will outgrow Diana."
Criticism
But with the success came criticism. The press threw in as much enthusiasm on the successes of the Sussexes as on anything they considered Meghan's shortcomings. There is always a black (!) Sheep in the family, and if in reality there is not, the press will choose someone, because those are stories that sell.
Meghan was an easy target. There was something to criticize about her every day. She was wearing the wrong maternity clothes. Either she chose the wrong delivery method or the wrong hospital. She was even reprimanded when she got out of a limousine and slammed the door herself.
She is said to have made excessive demands in choosing a diadem to borrow from the Queen for her wedding. She would have behaved so impossibly when fitting the bridesmaids that she made the children and Kate cry. According to the authors, both are sandwich monkey stories.
Meghan is a different royal than they are used to in the UK. She is a young, self-confident and enterprising woman who knows what she wants and naturally comes out for it. She has single-handedly built a career as an actress, and she has created “The Tig”, her own website with articles on lifestyle, fashion, cooking, travel and inspiring female role models.
Its social media offshoots were very successful: at its peak, she had 3 million followers on Instagram, 800,000 on Facebook and 350,000 on Twitter. She earned an estimated $ 80,000 annually through all kinds of sponsorship deals.
"Duchess difficult"
And now she is a woman who confidently takes her place “in a world previously deemed out of reach for her”. She also brings that self-awareness to meetings with all kinds of courtiers, where the Sussexes must negotiate and advocate for the new charities they want to establish and give substance to their existence.
Americans are direct, like the Dutch. This clashes with the inertia and undefined sensitivities of the institute monarchy: read the cautious, bandaged way of formulating and operating among the courtiers. “Direct” quickly becomes “cheeky”. Meghan quickly becomes “Duchess difficult”. And that dubious honorary title finds its way to the press.
Still more is finding its way to the press. The new initiatives they want to develop - super important to them, because that is the only thing that gives meaning to their life in the royal cage and it is the cement between them - those new plans face all kinds of obstacles internally. There is always another plan of Charles or William - the first and second in the succession - that takes precedence, according to the competing media teams. Apparently Bahrain has not yet been forgotten.
William comes first
Harry knows since he was 4 years old that he will always come second to his brother: William always comes first. William is invited to solo talks with the Queen, Harry almost never. The brothers have also been competitors from an early age for Dad's help and money for their projects.
There have been times - before there was talk of Meghan - when Harry wanted to tackle bigger projects and do more work, but he couldn't get the necessary resources. William was always the priority. Harry also knows that in the future the focus will be on Charles, William and his oldest son George. The longer the more he will be sidetracked.
As he teams up with Meghan and they surf a global wave of fame and popularity, those hurdles are starting to bite. Then you have an interesting initiative that you want to announce immediately, then another slippery courtier who cautiously points out that an initiative of Prince Charles or Prince William has priority, always has priority, and that you have the launch indefinitely. must postpone.
If the couple complains about this internally, it has no effect, unless they can read details from the consultation in the newspaper a little later: targeted leaks from the court, they conclude.
And that's on top of the other attacks in the press, which are getting even bolder. For example, the photos taken from a helicopter of a house in Oxfordshire where they live temporarily awaiting their move to Frogmore Cottage on the Windsor estate. They show so many details of the living room, dining room and bedroom that the couple no longer feels it is safe to stay in that house.
I've seen what happens when someone I love is considered a commodity.
Prince Harry
A few months later, when the family is expanded with son Archie, the security issue becomes even more acute. This is extremely sensitive matter for Harry. In his eyes, the ruthless paparazzi are directly responsible for the death of his mother, Princess Diana: "I've seen what happens when someone I love is considered a commodity, and is no longer seen or treated as a real person" he says.
To court
As the attacks on Meghan and breaches of what they consider their privacy keep coming (such as the publication of a letter from Meghan to her father), the couple decides to file a lawsuit against a newspaper.
Usually the royal family is very reluctant to take the press to court, but there are exceptions. This was always preceded by a lot of deliberation by a procession of courtiers. And in very rare cases, a statement will follow on the royal.uk website, with an image of the charge on official stationery bearing the palace's headline.
But Harry doesn't want to wait for Buckingham Palace's slow, careful communications machine. And so suddenly there is an announcement on the WhatsApp group #SussexRoyalAfrica, which the couple had created for the journalists who covered their trip to southern Africa: the Sussexes are taking the Mail on Sunday to court.
Harry hoped his family would support this action, but the silence was deafening. In private conversations, Prince Charles showed that he respected the action, but the crown prince himself is too dependent on the press for a good start to his kingship and does not want to create bad blood.
Also from William and Kate: no response. No support. It confirmed Meghan's disappointment in Kate. She had hoped from the start to find an ally in Kate, but the two are too different.
Kate is naturally quiet and shy, Meghan is an outgoing American. Kate has never really practiced a profession, Meghan has already had a successful career of her own. For Kate, everything has to make way for the royal family, for Meghan her own interests also have a place. It's not a war between the two duchesses, but neither are they the best of friends.
Harry and Meghan felt they were being attacked from all sides, and they felt alone. They got no support from anyone. And then comes the moment when the couple starts making their bill. They seek shelter in Canada and start thinking carefully. They are fed up.
They want to develop new initiatives, but are constantly thwarted. They will never come first. Their role will diminish with time anyway. They are hunted wild for the bloodthirsty British press, and if they want to argue against it, they don't even get the support of their own family.
For Meghan, this press attack is untenable, and they should not think about what to expect for their children. But as long as they accept tax money, the press feels they have a right to put them on the grid.
Adding up
Meghan will also add up what she has given up for her wedding to a royal prince, who is only sixth in line for the succession to the throne: her career as an actress, her profitable website-cum-social media channels, her freedom of speech (she must from any political statement) and her freedom of movement (for anything she wants to do and for any move, a security officer must be notified in advance.)
Ultimately, the two just feel used because of their huge popularity as a royals new style. At the same time, they feel scorned or belittled within the walls of the royal institution: sometimes because they want to communicate too openly and headstrong, other times because they are labeled as too small.
Half in, half out
The bomb will burst at the end of 2019. The Queen and Prince Charles receive an email from Canada: Harry and Meghan want to leave their role as "senior royal". They want to live part-time in North America and part-time in the United Kingdom.
Many details are not yet in the mail, for fear of leaks. But it will later turn out that they want to forgo their government allowance and start earning their own money. And of course they want to carry out a number of royal obligations and assignments, but they also want to set their own agenda and develop their own charity initiatives. Half in, half out.
They base themselves on the example of Prince Michael of Kent, a cousin of the Queen. He often represents his aunt abroad, does not receive any government funding and earns a living as director of his own consultancy company.
At the beginning of January 2020, the couple will return to the United Kingdom for a week, then Harry would like a meeting with the Queen and Prince Charles to arrange this. But they are told the Queen won't be available until January 29. Harry immediately suspects slowdown maneuvers. Moreover, details from his e-mail appear to leak into the press: The Sun reports that they want to live in Canada.
A yes-no discussion ensues: the couple is convinced that the palace has leaked it. But they vehemently deny that there, and they accuse Harry of having leaked himself to make things move forward. The couple strongly denies that.
With the whole press alarmed, Harry and Meghan want to take control of their message, and on January 8 they will publish their entire plan on their Instagram account @SussexRoyal. In one effort they also launch a new website: SussexRoyal.com.
Courtiers, including the Queen's private secretary, are furious. “The private offices don't like that type of behavior. It is deeply unhealthy and unwelcome ”it sounds in the palace corridors, in that typical English court language.
In addition, the couple have oversimplified things and underestimated the problems, say several courtiers: what about their funding, the security costs, the tax implications, the visa arrangements?
Impatient and impulsive
And above all: how can they accept commercial assignments and represent the Queen at the same time? "They thought they could send Charles their rider and negotiate it via email, drop off in London to finish the case, give a three-month notice and go back to Canada." Too impatient and too impulsive, was the verdict.
In the end, it was the Queen who took the plunge. Half in, half out: that was impossible. It is true that you deprive journalists of their greatest argument for their interference if you no longer receive tax money but earn your own money. But getting involved in commercial deals and sponsoring and representing the royal family at the same time is also not possible: the press would have a tough time doing that. The monarchy is not like a bicycle race. So it was one or the other.
Harry and Meghan may retain the titles HRH (His / Her Royal Highness), and Duke and Duchess of Sussex, but they are no longer allowed to use those titles to represent the Queen and the royal family, nor for their own initiatives. That is why their Instagram account @SussexRoyal ”had to be closed, because it contains the word“ royal ”.
For Harry, this also means, for example, that although he retains his own military degrees and medals, he had to surrender his ceremonial military titles (the ones with which he represented the royal house), and that was quite a swallow.
He can therefore no longer wear his uniform as "Captain General of the Royal Marines", "Air Force Commander of the Royal Air Force Base Honington", or "honorary Commodore-in-Chief of the Royal Navy's Small Ships and Diving Operations". These duties and titles had been assigned to him as a “senior royal”.
But with that, the entire royal family, including Charles and William, has lost the enormous asset that the couple represented for the future of the monarchy. Everyone also realized that this created a new blueprint for the future generation of royals: how to get out if the obligations start to weigh too much.
Megxit
The press was quick to give Meghan the role of evil genius in this whole story: hence the term Megxit. She had incited Harry for an unfortunate plan that had exploded in their faces. But Scobie and Durand contradict that. Harry has always had an enormous need for ordinary life, which his mother Diana got to know him by taking her boys to a McDonalds restaurant or an amusement park.
The whole royal thing could be stolen from Harry for a long time, the authors know. That is why he felt so comfortable in the army, as a common soldier among the soldiers. That's why he avoided as much ceremonial as he could, and that's why he didn't want a title for his son. So Meghan has at most been a catalyst in this story.
Their last official engagement was on March 9, a Commonwealth service at Westminster Abbey. It was a foretaste of what was to come. Without prior consultation it turned out that they were no longer part of the royal party accompanying the Queen. Their name did not appear in the prayer book. They were lined up behind the Cambridges. William turned around for a moment, just said "Harry" with a nod, and ignored Meghan. They immediately knew where they stood.
Cold
It's cold outside the royal family. Hugo Vickers, royal biographer of the old school and an old hand in the trade, also noticed this. He immediately made the comparison with the other royal who had resigned, King Edward VIII, in 1936. He insisted on marrying Wallis Simpson, an American who had been divorced twice. That was unthinkable for a king at the time, so Edward resigned. The comparison with Harry and Meghan is obvious. The Queen Mother always called Wallis Simpson “that woman”, the echo resounds in Williams “this girl”.
Hugo Vickers fights the charges against the courtiers made by Scobie and Durand in their book. On the contrary, he knows them as very dutiful and scrupulous people, who wisely want the best for the royal family. Meghan and Harry's problem is that they don't recognize that wisdom, and they value their own agenda over the interests of the monarchy. With that, Harry makes the same mistake as his mother Diana, who according to him even wanted to rival the Queen.
The rest is history. Harry and Meghan left for Canada, and later settled near Santa Barbara in the States. They've struck an extremely lucrative deal with Netflix, using their first money to refund the Frogmore Cottage renovations to the UK taxpayer. Due to the corona crisis, they have not been able to travel back to the United Kingdom all this time.
It's not anger, it's pain.
Prince William
In the meantime, there are many pieces to glue. It's about hurt feelings on all sides, and they're harder to fix than tax formulas. William said, “It's not anger, it's pain. All my life I put my arm around my brother but I can't do that anymore: we are separate entities. ”
Will the Sussexes succeed? Will they keep their popularity even without a royal appearance? Will they stay happy together? Many royals are probably looking forward to this with interest, as it would set an interesting precedent for many royal siblings.
In any case there is one difference with the unfortunate Edward VIII, who after his abdication to his utter amazement found all doors closed when he wanted to take up some role in the royal family. Even though Harry has turned her back on the Royal Family as an institution, the Queen has assured him that she will support him in everything he does and that the door will always remain open should her grandson and his wife ever return to their former roles.
"Meghan and Harry - In Search of Freedom" by Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand is published by HarperCollins.
