Meghan's miscarriage story comforts women: 'I couldn't see a stroller for years
Intense feeling of sadness
“I was pregnant with my first child and had already bought all kinds of baby things. I was completely ready for a new future. Grandparents and grandmothers couldn't wait either.
After 16 weeks, she had a miscarriage. “I gave birth to a dead child in the hospital. I got a good orientation there and had lovely doctors around me. But then you sit at home. On the couch. Then it becomes calm and that intense feeling fills with pain. you failed. "
I was pregnant at the same time as three colleagues. “I couldn't bear asking them about her pregnancy. Very sad. I didn't go to a maternity visit for years. I was scared to look at my oldest son's ultrasounds ”.
Meghan
For Meghan Markle (39) to candidly describe her miscarriage in today's New York Times, it's up to Veronique. According to Prince Harry's wife, losing a child is "the most heinous form of grief and few people talk about it."
According to figures from the KNOV, the professional association of midwives, 1 in 10 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage. The older the mother is, the higher the probability.
Taboo
Miriam van Kreij from Miscarriage Assistance Netherlands sees that it is still difficult for many women to share their pain. "Although there is more talk than before." There were years when women did not share pain at all. That was considered normal.
According to Van Kreij, a miscarriage causes great pain that you must first deal with alone. "And I don't want to share it with the rest of the world."
Body
It is a very sensitive issue. "If you tell us that you had a miscarriage, people will also know that you want to have children." In addition to emotional complaints, women also encounter physical complaints, says Van Kreij. "It's a lot that a body goes through."
She thinks it's good for famous people like Meghan Markle to talk about their pain. “You can help others in their pain. And how to deal with it. "
Facing up
Emma also lost her baby. Five years ago, after ten weeks. World famous Meghan's story can certainly be supportive for women, Emma thinks, but every miscarriage story is up against as well. "Meghan's story reminds me of my own pain."
Emma is now the mother of two children. Talking about her miscarriage got better after the birth of her first child. “At first it was too difficult. Too painful When I got pregnant again, I also waited longer to share the good news. To protect me".
Cell group
Most people respond with a lot of sweetness and understanding, says Emma. "But there are also people who say, 'well, it was just a bunch of cells.' Or people who start talking about their own pain, while I just wanted to be busy with myself.
Miriam van Kreij acknowledges this: "It may be with good intentions, but sometimes very painful things are said."
Emma wonders if it is taboo to talk about miscarriages. But one thing struck her: When she mentioned her own miscarriage, she heard from all sorts of other women who had aborted as well. "A very special discovery."
Processing process
Veronique used her grieving process to help other women. A few years ago she became a photographer at the Still foundation. Now it records the births of stillborn babies. “You can tell that photos of such a radical moment can offer a lot of comfort. I mainly capture small details. The shape of the foot or a finger ”.
Parents believe that this is a very grateful and beautiful memory, see. "That can help in the processing process."
