Do Melania and Donald Trump Really Love Each Other?
Distant gazes, real-fake kisses, forced smiles ... Based on the embarrassing videos of the Trump couple, two body language experts deliver their verdicts to us.
We have known a better matched couple. The 1.80m creature and the “creature” with the yellow toupee were probably not made to be together. “I couldn't escape his charm. There were sparks, ”yet delivered Melania Trump in 2015. The Slovenian model and the American tycoon were married in 2005 in Palm Beach, Florida. Since then, it is more than twenty years of a love rich in money that they send us in the face.
We had chosen to ignore them, as we sometimes ignore dubious reality TV. But we can no longer. On January 20, 2017, Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States, and his wife Melania the saddest First Lady in White House history. The hashtags #FreeMelania and #SadMelania have flourished on Twitter and two questions of the utmost importance have rocketed to the top: Is Donald the most obnoxious of husbands? Is Melania the least loving of wives?
“Be careful not to fall into too easy a cognitive bias,” warns Stephen Bunard, a body language specialist. "Cognitive bias which would like us to see the Trumps as an anti-couple, because we would like to find there everything we think of abject about Donald Trump." For the synergologist, the Obamas were in the perfect fusion, the Macrons are in complementarity. "The Trumps, we would like them to be neither similar nor complementary." An approach joined by Olga Ciesco, another expert in body language. The coach speaks of the Trumps as "a strange couple", without however ever falling into the reading of any disenchantment. According to her, they would not return "the idea of a false couple", but rather "an impression of non-complicity". In general, “Melania creates distance, tries to create proximity,” adds Stephen Bunard. Which gives a somewhat curious ballet ”.
"Micro-traction"
Among the most viral, two videos show Melania Trump avoiding "hand in hand" with Donald Trump during official outings in May 2017. One is captured as they disembark from Air Force One in Rome, the other on the tarmac at Tel Aviv airport.
“What is funny in this video (above, Editor's note) is that just after Melania has clearly pushed her husband's hand away, he touches his tie and readjusts his jacket, decrypts Olga Ciesco. This is an attitude that we find in men when they want to reassert their authority. " In body language, this is called "a micro-traction," says Stephen Bunard. “One way of saying 'I'm the boss'”. Roughly speaking, she rejects him, otherwise he wouldn't have needed to regain a constant authority.
"Reverse smile"
— marv (@mvn_dn) January 23, 2017
Another manifestation emanating from those who will henceforth be nicknamed "the strange couple". We are January 20, 2017, the famous inauguration day of Donald Trump in Washington. Melania is in the audience, she gives her husband a big smile when he turns to her. The "problem" arises when he takes his eyes off her, and the First Lady's face crumbles as dry, to the point of expressing distress. "She goes from a smile that was obviously" social ", unnatural, to a pout of dissatisfaction or discontent," decrypts Olga Ciesco.
"The corners of the lips are pointing downwards, she is disappointed with something," explains Stephen Bunard. There is nothing to prove here that the fault is to be put on Donald, "she had perhaps other troubles that day", insists Olga Ciesco, while affirming that once again, "they do not show the signs of 'a couple who can be an accomplice without being on top of each other'. Those presented for example by Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron, or even Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles.
"Social"
The US First Lady introduces her husband on stage at an event at Joint Base Andrews. He thanks her with a handshake. pic.twitter.com/fPQNoMpnWa
— Caitriona Perry (@CaitrionaPerry) September 15, 2017
“Strange,” again, this couple shaking hands on stage. “We shake the hand of someone we haven't seen in the morning and, above all, who is not in our privacy,” says Olga Ciesco. “The handshake is a 'social' movement, it is not affectionate. It is also a movement that we used in Roman times, to check that we did not have a dagger on the wrist. ”
For Stephen Bunard, it is not impossible that it is the First Lady who generally claims these distance markers. A way of "saying" do not touch me too much, I am in office ", and to distinguish the intimate couple from the presidential couple. She doesn't want to mix genres. ”
"Air kiss"
Did they actually kiss? #inauguration2017 pic.twitter.com/v5s9O12Xof
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) January 20, 2017
In 1991, Les Inconnus did “air kisses” in the Auteuil Neuilly Passy music video. For fun. But it seems that, for technical reasons, or others more obscure, the couple Trump still uses it for their public appearances. “We have never seen a couple kissing without touching each other,” says Olga Ciesco. "When we love each other, we are supposed to offer a certain harmony." To which Stephen Bunard adds that "they kiss from right profile to right profile, or from left hemisphere to left hemisphere, which suggests that we are not in a moment of tenderness or affection".
"Shame"
While photos are generally more difficult to interpret than videos (we don't know what happens before or after), some are more meaningful than others for our non-verbal communication specialists. In the photo above, the President and the First Lady leave the White House for Florida and the victims of Hurricane Irma. "Donald Trump returns the typical image of the average American, ill-bred, who speaks loudly, who walks past his wife ...", deciphers Stephen Bunard. Behind her dark glasses and her understated look, “Melania seems to want to compensate for her husband's attitude. She could be on the verge of dropping a "Hey honey, you're president, what?"
"Potiche"
Thus, Melania Trump would show less disenchantment than dishonor. On July 13, 2017, the American presidential couple is on an official visit to Paris. The photo opposite immortalizes the Macrons and the Trumps before their intimate dinner at the restaurant Le Jules Verne, on the second floor of the Eiffel Tower. First visible element: Melania and Donald are not holding hands. "We don't have to always hold hands, okay, but their hands touching each other, the reflex would like them to cling to each other, which is not the case."
In addition, "Melania is clearly in her function of First Lady, and in the part that she masters best", explains Stephen Bunard. "And for good reason, she seems to say" I am a model, I know how to do it, even if it means being a vase, let's do it well "." The two experts also agree that Melania Trump, videos and photos combined, still has this "need to do the best possible", to fulfill her function perfectly. “To compensate with all his grace, perhaps, for the rude behavior of her husband,” concludes Stephen Bunard.
"Mechanical"
President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump share their first dance at inaugural ball. https://t.co/1y0n4xdTmX pic.twitter.com/5nStd3HFeX
— ABC News (@ABC) January 21, 2017
This video is undoubtedly the best proof of "the dissonance of the Trump couple on the conception of the representation of the presidential couple", says Stephen Bunard. We are the evening of the nomination, Donald and Melania sketch a few dance steps on My Way, in the version of Frank Sinatra. "As usual", the criticisms fuse on Twitter. "That is to say that Melania looks a little stuck, in her dress already, and in her gestures", decodes Olga Ciesco. “The way she puts her hand on her husband's shoulder is very stiff, almost like dancing with anyone. They have a nice demeanor, but not in love. ”
For Stephen Bunard, “they are a little too mechanical”. Donald Trump grabs his waist, "because Donald Trump grabs people, they are his, they belong to him." When he loves someone, he brings him into his private sphere, and it is often done in a somewhat familiar way, between a dominant male and an affectionate big monkey. " As always, Melania is in a receding posture. "She wants to send back an image of a princess all in restraint, while Donald would like to play it 'fusional à la Obama'", adds the coach, author of Their gestures say aloud what they think whisper (ed. First, 2014 ). “Melania has that 'to do' side that she tries to make more natural. They do not manage to manage a common course of action, it is visible. They would have to talk to each other, actually. ” That they also exchange, perhaps, on their respective agendas. On the latest embarrassing video to date, Donald Trump apologizes for the absence of Melania, who "would have liked to be there". Except that she is obviously there, right next to him. So. Good luck, Donalania.
On video, the Trump cold war
