Bill and Melinda Gates seemed to have the perfect life and relationship, so what went wrong?
"We no longer believe that we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives," wrote the billionaire couple.
After 27 years of marriage, three children, and the creation of the world's largest philanthropic foundation, Bill and Melinda Gates announced to their surprise that they will be divorcing this week.
The longtime couple announced their intention to end their marriage on Monday, writing in a joint statement shared on social media: "After thinking hard and working hard on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our relationship. marriage".
“Over the past 27 years, we have raised three amazing children and built a foundation that works around the world to enable all people to lead healthy and productive lives,” the Gates statement continued. "We continue to share our belief in that mission and will continue our work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe that we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives."
Bill and Melinda concluded the statement by asking for space and privacy as they begin to "navigate this new life."
While the announcement sent shockwaves into the worlds of philanthropy and technology, it also surprised the general public, who responded with questions considering the couple's seemingly happy and productive marriage.
From how they met, to what they said about their relationship, to what could have gone wrong, here's what to know about the rise and fall of the marriage of one of the richest couples in the world.
How did Bill and Melinda meet?
Bill and Melinda met through Microsoft, the technology company he co-founded, where Melinda had landed a job as a product manager in 1987.
According to Melinda, her first real presentation was at a business dinner in New York City, and the 56-year-old recalled in her 2019 memoir, The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes The World, that they had sat together. next to each other.
However, it wasn't until a few months after Bill asked her future wife out of her that he ran into her in the Microsoft parking lot and asked if he could ask her out in two weeks.
The offer was initially rejected by Melinda on the grounds of lack of spontaneity, and the philanthropist recalled how she had told the tech founder that she would have to ask her out closer to the date and gave him her number.
According to Melinda, who reflected on her moment during the Netflix three-part documentary Inside Bill's Brain, Bill called her hours later that day and invited her to dinner.
For Bill, the uncertainty stemmed from his dedication to building Microsoft, with the billionaire aware of the commitment the company would take, while noting that Melinda also had other "boyfriends."
“When we met, she had other boyfriends and I had Microsoft. We thought, 'Hey, we're not really serious with each other, are we? We are not going to demand each other's time. But after about a year of that, to our surprise, certainly my surprise, we said, 'Hey, I love you,' and she said that she loved me and then it was like, wow. Now what will happen? Gates recalled in the documentary.
Finally, he relied on a list of pros and cons to help him decide if he was ready to get married.
According to Melinda, her future husband "had a decision to make" and "wanted to get married, but he didn't know if he could really commit and [lead] Microsoft."
"You know, we loved each other very much and there were only two possibilities: either we were going to break up or we were going to get married," she said in the documentary.
Interestingly, Bill also sought the advice of his ex-girlfriend Ann Winblad, whom he allegedly also went on vacation after they got married, before proposing to Melinda, revealing in a 1997 Time profile: “When I was just thinking about marrying Melinda, I called Ann and asked for her approval. "
Despite lingering concerns, the couple finally tied the knot in a ceremony in Hawaii in 1994.
However, years later, Melinda revealed that she never expected to marry her husband.
In a Valentine's Day Instagram post in 2019, she wrote that she "never would have guessed that Bill and I would date, much less fell in love and got married," but that it was "one of the best surprises of my life."
What happened when they had children?
When Melinda and Bill's eldest daughter Jennifer arrived in 1996, the couple faced another hurdle, Melinda's decision not to return to work.
According to the mother of three, who also wrote in her book that she had considered not telling Bill after learning she was pregnant with her first child because they were about to embark on a trip to China, her husband was "stunned" by the decision.
"He was stunned," she wrote, adding that her husband had asked, "What do you mean you're not coming back?"
During an interview with CBS 'Sunday Morning in 2017, Melinda said her decision came down to wanting to raise the couple's children herself, and that her wealth meant she didn't have to go back to work.
"He was surprised, he was definitely surprised," she said. “But I said, 'You know, it just doesn't make sense. You can't be the CEO and try as hard as you do and, someone has to be home, right? We did not want our children to be raised by someone else. I said, 'You know, if we want them to have the values that we have, someone has to be at home.'
In addition to Jennifer, 25, the couple had two more children, Rory, 21, and Phoebe, 19.
While speaking to The Sunday Times in 2019, Melinda had reflected on some frustration with her husband during their children's youth, recalling a case in which she was struggling to pack the car and prepare the three children while her husband read a book on Winston Churchill.
During the interview, she also said, "I can remember some incredibly difficult days in our marriage where you thought, 'Can I do this?'
But Bill didn't always focus elsewhere, as Melinda recalls in her book again when her husband inspired other parents to start taking their sons to school when he started taking one of his daughters. she to kindergarten.
The tech guru also previously expressed his affinity for washing dishes, revealing that he does his homework every night.
According to Melinda, despite the struggles, the marriage worked because it was a "society of equals."
How did your foundation influence your relationship?
In recent years, the couple's commitment to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has taken center stage, which has seen Bill and Melinda invest billions of dollars in fighting “poverty, disease and inequality in life. all the world".
In a statement, the foundation said the former couple would continue to work together at the nonprofit organization.
"They will continue to work together to shape and endorse the foundation's strategies, advocate for the foundation's issues, and establish the overall direction of the organization," the statement said.
What have they said about each other and what ultimately went wrong?
Despite the occasional ups and downs documented by the pair, for the most part, they have only spoken positively about each other.
In a 2018 blog post, Melinda revealed in response to a question about what happens when they disagree that Bill has a "good heart" and is "very open-minded."
“Bill has a very open mind, which is not necessarily the way people perceive him. I love Bill because he has a kind heart, listens to other people and is moved by what they say, ”she wrote. “When I tell a story about what I have seen, he feels it. He might ask me to collect some data just in case, but he doesn't doubt the reality of my experiences or the soundness of my judgment. "
Melinda has also publicly expressed her admiration and love for her husband on social media, and the mother of three wrote in a Facebook post for Bill's birthday: “Bill, after two incredible decades together, your humor, drive, Intelligence, curiosity, thoughtfulness, optimism and, yes, your spontaneity, are as wonderful as ever. On land, at sea and anywhere in between, I'm glad you're by my side. "
More recently, Melinda celebrated her husband in an anniversary post, in which she referred to Bill as "the man who keeps me dancing my whole life."
The Microsoft founder has also positively reflected on his association with Melinda, revealing in the Netflix documentary that if he had a regret, it would be not thanking his 27-year-old wife enough.
In general, the couple's decision seems to be based on continued love and mutual support, with some pointing out on social media that just because the marriage is ending doesn't mean it wasn't successful.
