Do Melania and Donald Trump really love each other?
Distant looks, real-fake kisses, forced smiles... Based on the embarrassing videos of the Trump couple, two body language experts give us their verdicts.
We have known a better matched couple. The 1.80m creature and the "creature" with the yellow toupee were probably not made to be together. "I couldn't escape her charm. There were sparks," Melania Trump delivered in 2015. The Slovenian model and the American tycoon got married in 2005 in Palm Beach, Florida. Since then, it's more than twenty years of a love rich in money that they send us in the face. We had chosen to ignore them, as we sometimes ignore dubious reality TV. But we can't anymore. On January 20, 2017, Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States, and his wife Melania the saddest First Lady in the history of the White House. The hashtags #FreeMelania and #SadMelania flourished on Twitter and two questions of the utmost importance rocketed to the top: Is Donald the most obnoxious of husbands? Is Melania the least loving of wives?
“Be careful not to fall into too easy a cognitive bias,” warns body language specialist Stephen Bunard. "Cognitive bias that would like us to see the Trumps as an anticouple, because we would like to find there everything that we think abject about Donald Trump." For the synergologist, the Obamas were in the perfect fusion, the Macrons are in complementarity. "The Trumps, we would like them to be neither similar nor complementary." An approach joined by Olga Ciesco, another body language expert. The coach speaks of the Trumps as "a strange couple", without ever pouring into the reading of any disenchantment. According to her, they would not return "the idea of a false couple", but rather "an impression of non-complicity". In general, "Melania creates distance, he tries to create proximity, adds Stephen Bunard. Which gives a somewhat curious ballet".
"Micro-traction"
Among the most viral, two videos show Melania Trump avoiding "hand in hand" with Donald Trump during official outings in May 2017. One is captured as they disembark from Air Force One in Rome, the other on the tarmac at Tel Aviv airport.
"What's funny in this video (above, editor's note) is that just after Melania clearly pushed her husband's hand away, he touches his tie and readjusts his jacket, decrypts Olga Ciesco. It's a attitude that we find in men when they want to reassert their authority." In body language, this is called "a micro-pull", says Stephen Bunard. "A way of saying 'I'm the boss'". Roughly speaking, she rejects him, otherwise he would not have needed to find a constant of authority.
"Inverted Smile"
— Marv 𓆉 (@mvn_dn) January 23, 2017
Another manifestation emanating from those who will now be nicknamed "the strange couple". Today is January 20, 2017, the famous day of Donald Trump's inauguration in Washington. Melania is in the audience, she offers a big smile to her husband when he turns to her. The "problem" arises when he looks away from her, and the First Lady's face crumbles just as dryly, to the point of expressing distress. "She goes from a smile that was obviously "social", unnatural, to a pout of dissatisfaction or discontent", deciphers Olga Ciesco.
"The corners of the lips are pointing down, she is disappointed with something", details Stephen Bunard. Nothing proves here that the fault is to be put on Donald, "she may have had other troubles that day", insists Olga Ciesco, while affirming that once again, "they do not show the signs of 'a couple who can be complicit without being on top of each other'. Those presented by Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron, for example, or even Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles.
"Social"
The US First Lady introduces her husband on stage at an event at Joint Base Andrews. He thanks her with a handshake. pic.twitter.com/fPQNoMpnWa
— Caitriona Perry (@CaitrionaPerry) September 15, 2017
“Strange”, again, this couple shaking hands on stage. "We shake the hand of someone we haven't seen in the morning and, above all, who is not in our intimacy", unfolds Olga Ciesco. “The handshake is a “social” movement, it is not affectionate. It is also a movement that was used in Roman times, to check that we did not have a dagger on the wrist. "
For Stephen Bunard, it is not impossible that it is the First Lady who generally claims these distance markers. A way of "saying" don't touch me too much, I'm in office", and to distinguish the intimate couple from the presidential couple. She doesn't want to mix genres."
"Air kiss"
Did they actually kiss? #inauguration2017 pic.twitter.com/v5s9O12Xof
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) January 20, 2017
In 1991, Les Inconnus made "air kisses" in the clip of Auteuil Neuilly Passy. For fun. But it would seem that, for technical reasons, or others more obscure, the Trump couple still uses it for their public appearances. "We have never seen a couple kiss without touching", says Olga Ciesco. "When we love each other, we are supposed to offer a certain harmony." To which Stephen Bunard adds that "they kiss from right profile to right profile, or from left hemisphere to left hemisphere, which suggests that we are not in a moment of tenderness or affection".
"Shame"
While photos are generally more difficult to interpret than videos (we don't know what happens before or after), some are more telling than others for our non-verbal communication specialists. In the photo above, the President and First Lady leave the White House for Florida and the victims of Hurricane Irma. "Donald Trump returns the typical image of the average American, badly brought up, who speaks loudly, who passes in front of his wife...", deciphers Stephen Bunard. Behind her dark glasses and her sober look, "Melania seems to want to compensate for her husband's attitude. She could be on the verge of saying 'Hey honey, you're president, what'."
"Potiche"
Thus, Melania Trump would show less love than dishonor. On July 13, 2017, the American presidential couple is on an official visit to Paris. The photo opposite immortalizes the Macrons and the Trumps before their intimate dinner at Le Jules Verne restaurant, on the second floor of the Eiffel Tower. First visible element: Melania and Donald are not holding hands. "We don't always have to hold hands, okay, but their hands touching, the reflex would be that they cling to each other, which is not the case."
In addition, "Melania is clearly in her function as First Lady, and in the part that she masters best", explains Stephen Bunard. "And for good reason, she seems to be saying 'I'm a model, I know how to do it, even if it means being a figurehead, let's do it well'." The two experts also agree that Melania Trump, videos and photos combined, always has this "need to do the best possible", to fulfill her function perfectly. "To compensate with all her grace, perhaps, the rude behavior of her husband", concludes Stephen Bunard.
"Mechanical"
President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump share their first dance at inaugural ball. https://t.co/1y0n4xdTmX pic.twitter.com/5nStd3HFeX
— ABC News (@ABC) January 21, 2017
This video is undoubtedly the most beautiful proof of "the dissonance of the Trump couple on the conception of the representation of the presidential couple", according to Stephen Bunard. We are the evening of the investiture, Donald and Melania outline a few dance steps on My Way, in the version of Frank Sinatra. "As usual", critics fuse on Twitter. "That is to say that Melania looks a little stuck, in her dress already, and in her gestures", decodes Olga Ciesco. "The way she lays her hand on her husband's shoulder is very stiff, like she's dancing with anybody. They have a sympathetic demeanor, but not an amorous one."
For Stephen Bunard, "they are a little too mechanical". Donald Trump grabs her waist, "because Donald Trump grabs people, they are his, they belong to him. When he loves someone, he brings them into his intimate sphere, and it's often done in a unfamiliar, between dominant male and big affectionate monkey." As always, Melania is in a backward posture. "She wants to send back an image of a princess with restraint, while Donald would like to play it" fusional à la Obama "", adds the coach, author of Their gestures say out loud what they think in a low voice (ed. First, 2014 ). "Melania has this 'to do' side that she tries to make more natural. They can't manage to manage a common course of action, it's visible. They should talk to each other, in fact." That they also exchange, perhaps, on their respective agendas. On the latest embarrassing video, Donald Trump apologizes for the absence of Melania, who "would have liked to be there". Except she's obviously there, right next to him. So. Good luck, Donaldania.
