And why to avoid doing it to your own
The words “never burn bridges” were burned into my brain by my first mentor. She told me the damage is devastating. Connections, reputations, and opportunities could be ruined permanently.
In the business world, burnt bridges can destroy your brand.
The advice appears cliche as we can’t imagine the scale of its repercussions. But read Katherine Heigl’s story and it makes complete sense.
Once upon a time in Hollywood, Katherine Heigl was the next big thing. The breakthrough role in the hit TV series, Grey’s Anatomy, made her a household name. It earned her an Emmy for the best-supporting actress in 2007 and the same year she appeared as the lead in the rom-com Knocked Up — her most successful film to date.
Subsequently, in 2008 she was named the Most Desirable Woman and was on her way to win yet another Emmy. She was on cloud nine with a career at an all-time high. The same year she did something from which her career has still not recovered. She publicly criticized her two most successful projects. In an interview, she said Knocked Up was sexist towards women,
“It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. Why is this how you’re portraying women? It was hard for me to love the movie.”
Although she had every right to critique her own work, the opinions didn’t go well with her peers. Things went further downhill once she denounced Grey’s Anatomy by withdrawing from the Emmy’s race, stating,
“I did not feel I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and, in an effort, to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials.”
These ill-fated statements received backlash, ruining her reputation and career overnight. She had clearly burned some bridges — a move that labeled her as Hollywood’s most hated actor.
While Hollywood was harsh to write her off after these comments, her attitude had doom written all over it. Here’s what we can learn from her mistakes and why they were a huge deal.
Badmouthing Your Boss Will Have Consequences
Even when you don’t like your boss, don’t go around advertising the fact.
At some point, you probably will end up hating your boss. The first attempt should be to work out the differences internally. Going all public without a one-on-one dialogue will only sabotage the mutual trust.
Heigl could have had a sit down with the showrunners to express her concerns, not whine about her dissatisfaction. She had the scripts and choose to do those assignments.
Both her bosses expressed these concerns.
Seth Rogan, her co-star in Knocked Up, felt betrayed that she didn’t say anything during the filming but then disliked the end product. Grey’s Anatomy producer Shonda Rhimes’ response was no different. She said she felt stung as Heigl had in fact requested a lighter workload.
In the end, it became a messy game of he said, she said. Fans didn’t support Heigl in either of her claims. Heigl later confessed that she didn’t know her words would spiral out of her control. It taught her to be more thoughtful.
Be Opinionated But Don’t Bring Other People Down
You can’t control others’ behavior or the situation. And you have the right and freedom to voice your concerns.
People face plenty of hostile conditions at work. We don’t know how difficult the situation might have been for the other person to take the stance they did.
But there is a difference in voicing your opinions and throwing others under the bus. When Heigl rejected an Emmy nomination, she forgot that it’s not only about her. There’s always a team behind any successful project.
In this case, it was the writers, producers, and crew who worked hard to give her that material. Not just that, her choice of words was poor — “to maintain the integrity of the academy organization.” She tried to be the bigger person with that statement. But all it did was make her look selfish.
It’s no surprise if these people then decide to never want to work with her again. Her character was written off not so long after.
By not quitting at the time, not only did Heigl jeopardize her career, but she also her future. The damage to her career and reputation was substantial. She had to go through immense stress and pressure. She even went to therapy to deal with the scrutiny of her image.
If You Do Take a Stand, Stick With It
Publicly trashing your work doesn’t put you in a good light, usually. But it also takes courage to admit you messed up or you don’t feel great about your past projects.
We’ve all made decisions in the past, which we aren’t proud of today. Writers laugh at their work from when they started, actors get better with time, and something you endorsed wholeheartedly a year ago might make you cringe today. It’s human to evolve.
Heigl’s concern with Knocked-up was about it being sexist towards women. Yet, she went on to do similar movies that had quite a few gender stereotypes.
She voiced her opinions on not doing things against your values. But it was only after she’d already done them and continued to do some more of the same. Based on her bosses’ version, it also felt she had total control over her character. Why do something that you found offensive, and then trash it?
This further vilified her. You can’t please everyone with your work choices. But saying one thing and doing another makes you nothing but a hypocrite.
Your Reputation Precedes You
A bad reputation travels faster, and it stays forever.
Over the last 13 years of my career, a phrase I hear often is — it’s a small industry, you never know when you cross paths with someone again. This is indeed true. I have had opportunities and roles come by solely based on great feedback from ex-bosses. I have also worked with the same people across different organizations.
Word of mouth is the best reference of all. In the corporate world, people might be forgiving on your work quality, but no one forgets how you made them feel. Heigl’s bosses didn’t forgive her. Shonda Rhimes once said — there are no Heigls in this situation for another successful series, to imply Heigl’s diva attitude.
Heigl’s career never fully recovered. Her major TV show after Grey’s Anatomy, State of Affairs, aired in 2014 and was canceled after one season due to bad ratings. In 2017, the next project, Doubt, also failed and was scrapped after airing only two episodes. She even expressed her interest in returning to Grey’s Anatomy and reprising her role. But showrunners passed.
Who knew the damage from burning bridges would be so long-term?
The Point of No Return
Heigl eventually regretted tarnishing the reputation of her bosses. Yet, her legacy will always be of a difficult person. Google her and the first page will remind you of her mistakes. In Hollywood, her story has become the cautionary tale about the dangers of biting the hand that feeds you.
She was so determined to reverse her reputation, that she has since tried to keep her mouth shut even when she shouldn’t have. She once wore a smaller shoe during filming because she didn’t want to be difficult.
And though her career may have finally recovered, given her latest stint in Suits, it has been a bumpy ride.
Heigl’s story highlights how important it is to cultivate relationships. Burning bridges would leave you stranded and all alone. But mostly it destroys your personal brand.
I agree that the repercussions in her case were greater given that she’s a public figure. But no one is invincible. Being self-aware of the power of your words reflects your emotional intelligence.
Don’t let your words come back and bite you. Venting about your work with your partner is one thing and broadcasting it on your social media is another. Quitting a job due to a toxic boss isn’t burning a bridge. It’s being professional. You can wish everyone well and hit the road.
When you find yourself in a toxic work environment, cross the bridge.
Your reputation is your most valuable asset. It is at the core of your personal brand and the heart of your legacy.
