In a magnificent text written for the "New York Times", the Duchess of Sussex reveals that she suffered a miscarriage, while she was pregnant with her second child, last July. She says she felt "a sharp cramp" as she held little Archie in her arms.
Meghan Markle is once again using her voice to help fight a taboo. This time, the one surrounding the miscarriage. This Wednesday, the Duchess of Sussex reveals that she lost the second child she was expecting with Prince Harry last July.
A painful ordeal that the activist and feminist recounts in a sublime text published on the New York Times website. She also looks back on the collective suffering that was the year 2020, marked by the global Covid-19 pandemic, and the anti-racist riots that shook the United States over the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, black Americans killed by police.
Meghan Markle's miscarriage
Meghan Markle says her miscarriage was triggered one morning in July, while she was taking care of Archie, her first child, born in 2019: “After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I lay down with him, singing a lullaby to keep us both calm, the happy melody contrasting sharply with my feeling that something was wrong."
I knew as I held my firstborn in my arms that I was losing the second.
"I knew, as I held my first-born in my arms, that I was losing the second", describes the Duchess of Sussex, who was then hospitalized.
"Hours later, I find myself in my hospital bed, holding my husband's hand. I felt the wetness of his palm, and kissed the knuckles of his hand, wet from our tears. Looking at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I wondered how we were ever going to heal."
Talk to lift a taboo
"Losing a child means that you have an almost unbearable grief, which many experience, but which few talk about", regrets Meghan Markle.
She says she discovered, with her husband, that between 10 and 20% of women experience at least one miscarriage in their lifetime. "Yet, despite the fact that this pain is so widespread, talking about it remains taboo, riddled with (unjustified) shame, perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning," denounces the former actress.
Meghan Markle thus encourages women to lift this taboo surrounding miscarriage, to no longer feel ashamed. “When we are invited to share our suffering, we all move forward together towards healing,” she encourages.
"Are you fine ?"
Prince Harry's wife explains that she then thought back to their trying trip to South Africa, the first stage of the first diplomatic tour of the young spouses and parents, a few months after the birth of Archie. At the time, the Duchess was overwhelmed by her new status as a mother, the intensity of royal obligations, and the many criticisms to which she was subjected, scrutinized from all sides.
During an interview, a journalist asks him: "Are you well?" At this question, the eyes of the Duchess mist with tears, and she lets go: "Thank you for asking the question. Few people have asked me if I was okay." A sequence that made the rounds of social networks, highlighting the discomfort of the last arrival at Buckingham. A few months later, the couple announced their decision to give up their place in the royal family.
"As I sat in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to put my own back together, I realized that the only way to start healing was to ask for help. first: 'Are you okay?'", recalls Meghan Markle.
The Duchess says she remembered the day she saw a young woman in tears on the street in New York. High school student, Meghan Markle was in a taxi, and the driver had judged that it was not necessary to stop to go see the young woman and ask her if she was well.
"Now, all these years later, in solitary confinement, confined, mourning the loss of a child, and the fact that my country has lost a common sense of what the truth is, I think back to that woman in New York What if no one stopped? What if no one saw that she was in pain? What if no one helped her? "I wish I could go back and ask the taxi to stop."
2020, year of suffering and divisions
In this intimate text, Meghan Markle also discusses at length the social climate weighing on the end of 2020. A year marked by the pandemic of new coronavirus, but also, in the United States, by anti-racist uprisings in response to violence racist policewomen, and a polarizing presidential election. Coming out of their political reserve, Harry and Meghan had called on voters to mobilize against Donald Trump.
We are now more connected than ever, because we have all, individually and collectively, overcome this year.
For the end-of-year celebrations, the Duchess calls on her readers to turn to her neighbor, despite disagreements. "So on Thanksgiving [...], let's commit to asking others, 'Are you okay?' As strong as we may be at odds, as physically distant as we may be, the truth is that we are now more connected than ever, because we have all, individually and collectively, overcome this year."
