Last weekend was far from uneventful for Vladimir Putin, as Russia teetered on the brink of a civil war. This forced Putin to deviate from his usual weekend routine. I can't help but speculate whether he found any amusement in the news that Prince Harry expressed a desire to invite him as a guest on his podcast, delving into his childhood traumas.
Imagine this scenario: Prince Harry, the self-proclaimed fool, approaching a warmongering and somewhat unhinged figure who has a penchant for eliminating his opponents in rather unconventional ways. What could Harry possibly inquire about? Oh yes, he might ask, "Vladimir, did you miss out on getting that puppy you wanted when you were five? Did your mother not offer enough affection?" We would be eager to hear all the details that led this homicidal dictator to be who he is today.
Over the past 48 hours, Harry and Meghan have experienced a rough time. Alongside the shocking revelations, there have been numerous embarrassing incidents that have exposed the flaws in their American careers. Meanwhile, riots were unfolding in Moscow, providing a stark contrast to the news coverage. Notably, reputable publications like the Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg have portrayed Harry and Meghan as failures, suggesting that they may face unemployment as early as 2025.
Let's delve into Bloomberg's soundbite newsletter, which conducted some investigative work and unveiled the podcast ideas that Meghan and Harry had pitched to Spotify. However, their relationship with Spotify recently came to an end. One of their podcast concepts involved Harry interviewing an unconventional lineup of guests, focusing on their formative years. Vladimir Putin was not the only world leader on Harry's wish list for this questionable show; reportedly, he also sought interviews with former President Donald Trump and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. These individuals have not exactly been stalwarts of democracy.
When I first heard this news, I couldn't help but wonder about Harry's motivations. Where do I even begin? Why would he try to humanize a monster and a former reality TV star? These are men who have endangered the principles of the Free World for the sake of their oversized egos. Moreover, what made Harry think they would even agree to participate?
Does he not realize that, after abandoning the monarchy to pursue his whims and nurse his resentments in California, he no longer possesses the same level of influence as someone working in close proximity to a crowned sovereign?
Did he genuinely believe that Vladimir Putin, amidst waging a brutal war on Ukrainians, would pause for a pleasant cup of tea to engage in a conversation with Harry about his father's perceived lack of love, his mother's insufficient praise, and how it all led to the annexation of Crimea?
I'm sure Harry would have taken ample time to talk about himself as well, discussing his discomfort in returning to the UK due to his family's alleged rejection of his truth. And then Vladimir could share his own discomfort, unable to leave Mother Russia since the International Criminal Court has issued an arrest warrant against him for war crimes. Quite an awkward situation, isn't it?
Moving on to the Bloomberg story, it also revealed that Harry had another grand idea for a series tackling various societal conversations, episode by episode, ranging from climate change to religion. For the latter, he had hopes of having Pope Francis as a guest. Here's where I need a moment to highlight that someone should really teach Harry how to perform a simple Google search. Neither Vladimir Putin nor the Pope conduct interviews in English.
Following the Bloomberg article, the Wall Street Journal published a report characterizing Harry and Meghan's Hollywood careers as looking like a flop. It pointed out that they've encountered more cancellations and rejections than successful productions. The report also mentioned that their "graveyard of video projects" is so extensive that Netflix is unlikely to renew their deal, which runs until 2025.
According to the article, Netflix bosses have expressed dissatisfaction with the couple's output, while Spotify grew frustrated with the time it took Meghan to come up with podcast ideas. The report portrays their production company, Archewell, as lacking direction and highlights instances where they seemed surprised by the amount of work required to complete entertainment projects. Many of their ideas are deemed as attempts to replicate existing successful shows on Netflix, such as a sitcom described as "Emily in Paris," but with a male lead.
To add to their woes, The Sun reported that Meghan and Harry could potentially lose $77 million unless they can swiftly produce something truly remarkable for Netflix. It seems their future prospects are hanging by a thread.
According to the report, it appears that Megan and Harry have only received half of their reported £81 million contract with Netflix. The remaining amount is contingent upon their ability to produce content that genuinely captures audience interest.
An industry source reveals that if they were to miss out on this outstanding Netflix payment and consider the alleged loss of up to $15 million due to the cancellation of their Spotify deal, it could mean that Harry and Megan are actually down $92 million. Goodness gracious! If we take these stories at face value, since Megan and Harry have yet to comment, it becomes evident that while they may lack creativity, follow-through, and a strong work ethic, they certainly possess audacity.
It seems that the power players in the entertainment industry have finally realized that Megan and Harry, with their royal tales of woe that have been exhaustively exploited, have very little, if anything, substantial to offer. Shocking, isn't it?
Harry, who appears to have little affinity for books, and Megan, a former actress known for her roles in mediocre romantic comedies, are not exactly the creative powerhouses they pretended to be. The future becomes even trickier when we consider the possibility of Netflix backing out of their Sussex partnership when 2025 arrives, leaving Harry and Megan essentially unemployed and unemployable.
Sure, Harry still holds his position as Chief Impact Officer of the coaching and mental fitness platform BetterUp, and at some point, either Megan or Harry, or perhaps both, will write another book. But what else can they do? There was a rumor last week that Megan was going to become the next face of Christian Dior, but that claim was quickly refuted and evidently never held any truth.
The Telegraph's Head of Fashion, Lisa Armstrong, consulted an independent luxury fashion consultant regarding working with Megan, to which the consultant responded, "Over my dead body." That seems about right. Another industry veteran commented that Megan and Harry are too divisive for a major international brand to take on.
Television, movies, podcasts, and fashion companies simply have no interest in collaborating with Harry and Megan. So, where will they find the funds to repay their mortgage? Perhaps they should consider the Home Shopping Network. It might be a viable option for them, if they are even granted the opportunity. Or maybe they could venture into selling supplements through Facebook, or even drop-ship hummingbird feeders.
The reality is, which corporation would be willing to risk substantial money by partnering with them, given their rather spotty track record? And if Harry manages to launch his podcast focusing on controversial figures in their childhoods, he might want to consider inviting the mercenary leader Yevgeny Pregolsen, who led the recent Russian Mutiny, as a guest. They seem to share similarities as insurrectionists who have been exiled from their homelands. Who knows, maybe Pregolsen would even bring his own chamomile tea bags to share with Harry.
