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Outrage Erupts as Meghan Markle is Spotted Wearing Diana's Missing £18,000 Watch, Infuriating Prince William

Outrage Erupts as Meghan Markle is Spotted Wearing Diana's Missing £18,000 Watch, Infuriating Prince William

As you've probably heard, Meghan Markle's new podcast promo photos feature her smirking smugly while wearing Di's iconic £18,000 Cartier watch – you know, the very one that mysteriously vanished from the prince's beloved collection after a tragic death. Apparently, Meghan thinks that because she snagged Harry, she's entitled to pilfer all of Diana's treasures too. That watch is a priceless royal heirloom that belongs to William and the family, not this greedy outsider. Just imagine how violating it must be for William, knowing his mother's memory is being exploited yet again by this cold social climber. That watch is a sacred remnant of Diana that Meghan is flaunting to sell a tacky podcast. Have some respect.

The heirlooms represent Diana's life and legacy, not a PR prop for this failed actress. The callousness of wearing this missing inheritance piece shows Meghan's true icy heart. Because make no mistake, there's no more to this than just insensitive stunting. That watch was mysteriously stolen after Diana's death, so either Meghan is implicating herself in the original theft or knowingly received stolen goods – both secrets likely known by Harry. Can you imagine what a scandal this will be if it's leaked? Princess pinching is bad enough, but Prince pincushion knowingly aiding the crime is even more shocking.

Of course, the squad wants us to believe this is all perfectly innocent, right? Just an extraordinary coincidence that missing royal jewels just happened to find their way into Meghan's hands? They're naive. And then there's being a straight-up sucker. We know that Meghan was obsessed with portraying herself as the new global Diana, but outright theft takes a delusional princess replacement fantasy to a deranged new low. She'll stop at nothing to march on Di's memory if it benefits brand Meghan.

At this point, William needs to file an emergency injunction to protect Diana's belongings before this klepto has the palace stripped bare. Can you imagine her grubby hands on the royal crown jewels? She'd be hawking them on eBay for private jet money faster than you can say "grifting." And don't even get me started on parading their kids' names as prince and princess after claiming she wanted privacy. As if we need more proof those children are nothing but PR props to Meghan.

I bet those kids don't even see daylight except for merch moments. Someone called child services and saved them from Meghan's sweatshop. The jig is up. We see through the lies and the thirst for fame and riches at the expense of everything sacred. You spit upon Diana's memory for the last time. Hand over her watch immediately before you force King Charles to retrieve it. Consider this your final warning, Sussex swindlers. Return the stolen goods, ditch the royal cosplay, and walk away with a shred of dignity.

Trust me, we haven't even scratched the surface on the dirty secrets. So, do yourself a favor: disappear. No more books, reality shows, or merch. Just take Harry's marbles and go live anonymously before your bankruptcy of morality destroys the monarchy. Your parasitic leeches have sucked enough blood from the palace to last ten lifetimes. Walk away, stay silent, and we'll keep your Netflix blood money and stolen jewels. But continue the greed-fueled rampage, and we'll ruin you with the truth missiles that the world won't forget.

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