Meghan’s grand podcasting adventure. Remember Archetypes, her Spotify show that was supposed to champion women and break down stereotypes? After a one-season wonder that left more people scratching their heads than inspired, Spotify decided not to renew their deal with Archewell Audio. Ouch! That’s got to hurt, especially when you're trying to build an empire on being a voice for the voiceless.
Enter Lemonada Media, a podcast network that clearly didn’t do its homework. They offered Meghan a whopping $20 million deal for a new show. Twenty million for someone whose last podcast was about as impactful as a feather hitting a pillow.
Now here’s where it gets juicy. Before the ink could even dry on this absurd contract, the deal got canceled. Yes, you heard that right. In a plot twist that even Netflix wouldn’t dare to script, Lemonada Media pulled out. Why? Well, they’re not saying, but I’ve got some theories. Maybe they finally listened to an episode of Archetypes. Maybe they realized that paying $20 million to someone whose main claim to fame is marrying into royalty and then trashing the very institution isn’t the smartest business move.
Let’s rewind a bit and talk about Archetypes itself. This podcast was supposed to be Meghan’s grand re-entry into the public sphere after she and her puppet—I mean, husband—Harry decided that royal life was too constraining for their egos. The premise was noble enough: to break down the labels that hold women back. Great idea, right? Well, great ideas need great execution, and that’s where our dear Duchess fumbled.
Celebrity gossip guru Perez Hilton, not exactly known for pulling punches, summed it up perfectly when he was interviewed on Kinsey Schofield’s YouTube channel. When asked about Archetypes, he didn’t just critique it; he full-on roasted it. His exact words: “I thought it was hilarious.” Hilarious. A podcast meant to uplift women being laughed at by one of the internet’s most notorious critics. That’s like Gordon Ramsey calling your restaurant a joke. It stings because there’s truth to it.
But Hilton didn’t stop there. He went on to expose the glaring hypocrisy at the heart of Meghan’s project. He pointed out that she claims to be this champion of women and for the people, yet every guest, if not the overwhelming majority of guests, were celebrities. Boom! He just hit the nail on the head so hard, I think even Queen Elizabeth felt it up in royal heaven. Think about it: a podcast supposedly dedicated to amplifying women’s voices, breaking down barriers, and who does Meghan invite? Serena Williams, Mariah Carey, Perez Hilton. Don’t get me wrong, these are all incredibly successful women who faced their own challenges, but they’re also multimillionaires with teams of publicists and managers. They’re not exactly the everyday woman struggling to make her voice heard.
As Hilton so brilliantly put it, “Why are you doing this thing about women, yet we’re only hearing the voices of the rich and famous?” Exactly. Where were the teachers shaping young minds despite being undervalued? Where were the nurses working double shifts during a pandemic? Where were the single moms juggling three jobs to put food on the table? Oh, that’s right. They weren’t glamorous enough for Meghan’s brand.
This is classic Meghan Markle, folks. She loves to position herself as this warrior for the downtrodden, a modern-day Joan of Arc fighting the patriarchy. But when you look closely, her battles always seem to take place in five-star hotels with A-list celebrities as her comrades. It’s performative activism at its finest—all flash, no substance.
And let’s not forget how she often turns these platforms into pity parties for herself. Every interview, every podcast episode, somehow circles back to how she, a woman who married into literal royalty, has been victimized. It’s always, “Oh, the palace didn’t protect me,” or “They didn’t let me do things my way.” Meanwhile, she’s sitting in a Montecito mansion, complaining to women who would kill for just a fraction of her privileges.
Now, you might be thinking, “Hey, come on, you’re being too harsh. At least she’s trying to do something positive.” Am I, though? Because from where I’m sitting, Meghan Markle isn’t trying to elevate women; she’s using women’s issues as a stepping stone to elevate herself. She’s leeching onto feminist causes the same way she’s leeching onto royal titles she claims to have left behind.
Speaking of her business ventures, let’s talk about her latest brainchild: American Riviera Orchard. Yes, after failing to conquer Spotify, Meghan’s now trying her hand at—wait for it—hand cream and jam. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. When Kinsey Schofield asked Hilton if he thought this venture would succeed, his response was telling. He said, “Yes, I think American Riviera Orchard will be very successful because while a lot of people don’t like Harry and Meghan, a lot of people do like them.” He’s not wrong. The sad truth is, there are plenty of people out there who are so obsessed with the royal soap opera that they’ll buy anything with Meghan’s face on it.
As Schofield hilariously put it, “That’s true, and there’s a lot of sheep out there who want that hand cream.” Sheep. That’s the perfect word for Meghan’s fan base. They’ll follow her off a cliff as long as that cliff is beautifully curated on Instagram.
But here’s what really gets my blood boiling. While Meghan’s playing business mogul and failed podcast host, she’s doing real damage to an institution that has stood for a thousand years. Every time she plays the victim, every time she implies that the royals are old-fashioned or even racist, she’s not just settling personal scores; she’s undermining the very foundation of the British constitutional monarchy. And for what? So she can be seen as a modern-day princess who broke free from the evil palace? So she can build a brand on being the rebel royal? It’s despicable. She waltzed into one of the world’s most respected families, enjoyed the tiaras and the global platform, and then burned it all down when she realized being royal means service above self—a concept as foreign to her as genuine humility.
Now, let’s talk about the man who’s been Meghan’s most vocal critic from day one: Piers Morgan. Love him or hate him, you have to admit the man has been consistent. Long before it was fashionable, Piers saw through Meghan’s act. He called her a social climber, a fame-seeker, someone using Harry as a ticket to the A-list. And you know what? Time has proven him right at every turn.
When news broke that Meghan’s Lemonada deal had fallen through, you can bet Piers Morgan was ready with a flamethrower. Live on air, he didn’t just criticize her; he roasted her so hard I’m surprised his microphone didn’t melt. “Well, well, well,” he began, that signature smirk on his face. “Looks like the great Meghan Markle, Duchess of Woke, isn’t as irresistible as she thought. $20 million for a podcast? The only thing worth that much from her would be a tell-all about how she manipulated poor Harry.”
Piers went on to dissect her failed Spotify venture. “Archetypes was supposed to shatter glass ceilings. Instead, the only thing it shattered was the illusion that Meghan has anything meaningful to say. She interviewed celebrities about being stereotyped in between wearing designer gowns and living in a palace. The irony is richer than her bank account.”
But Piers didn’t stop at her professional failures. He knows Meghan, and he hit her where it really hurts—her image. “This is a woman,” he said, leaning into the camera, “who has built her entire post-royal brand on being a feminist icon, a voice for change. But what has she actually changed? The color scheme of her website? The size of her private jet? She’s a charlatan, selling empowerment like it’s one of her overpriced jars of jam.”
