Just as they were packing their designer suitcases and practicing their Spanish (I can just picture Harry now: "Hola, I'm Prince Harry"), they got hit with a royal-sized banhammer. That’s right—the President of Colombia, Gustavo Petro, apparently caught wind of their plans and said, "Nah, not in my country." Ouch. It’s like showing up to a party all dressed up only to find out your invitation was actually meant for the cool kids next door.
But why would Colombia, a country that could use some positive PR, turn away two of the world’s most famous—or infamous—people? Buckle up, because this is where it gets interesting. According to a former courtier (that’s fancy talk for someone who used to fetch tea for the Queen), Harry and Meghan are portraying themselves as British Royals. I know, shocking, right? It’s almost like they used to be...oh wait, they did.
Here’s the kicker: these tours they’re doing aren’t official royal tours. They’re more like "we used to be royals and we’re not really sure what we are now, but please still treat us like we’re important" tours. It’s like showing up at your old high school years after graduation and expecting everyone to remember you.
The royal family is not happy. The same courtier who’s probably sipping tea and cackling while spilling all this gossip said it shows the "utter contempt" Harry and Meghan have for the King. Those are fighting words, folks.
Harry and Meghan left the royal family seeking privacy, wanting to escape the confines of royal life and just be normal people. Except, they’re still using their royal titles, still doing tours, and still expecting red carpet treatment wherever they go. It’s like quitting your job at McDonald’s but still expecting to get employee discounts and wear the uniform.
And Colombia? Well, they’re just caught in the middle of this royal food fight. They probably thought they were getting a nice diplomatic visit from some famous folks, but instead, they got the royal equivalent of that cousin who shows up uninvited to family gatherings and then complains about the food.
Here’s what really gets me: while Harry and Meghan play this game of "we’re royals, but we’re not really royals," there are serious issues in Colombia and around the world that need attention. Instead of focusing on those, we’re all caught up in this royal drama. It’s like watching the world’s most expensive and public identity crisis, and we’re all here for it.
Think about it. While we’re obsessing over whether Harry and Meghan are real royals or not, people in Colombia and everywhere else are dealing with poverty, violence, and other pressing issues. But no, we’re more concerned about whether Harry gets to wear his fancy uniform or not.
And let’s talk about the hypocrisy for a moment. Harry complains about not getting enough security in the UK, yet he’s totally fine with heading off to Colombia, a country not exactly known for its stellar safety record. It’s like complaining that your bedroom is too drafty and deciding to go camping in the Arctic.
This whole debacle is probably exactly what they wanted. Every time they pull a stunt like this, they’re back in the headlines, people are talking about them, and they’re relevant again. It’s like they’re addicted to attention but want it on their own terms. And the royal family? They’re playing right into it.
So what’s next in this royal soap opera? Will Harry and Meghan find another country to tour? Will they finally admit they’re not as detached from royal life as they claim to be? Or will they double down and start their own royal family? Prince Archie of Monaco has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
My money’s on them finding another controversy to stir up. Drama seems to follow these two like a lost puppy, and they’ve got a GPS set to the nearest scandal.
maybe it’s time for all of us to step back. Instead of obsessing over whether Harry and Meghan are real royals or not, why not focus on actual problems in the world? Crazy idea, I know. Because, at the end of the day, whether Harry and Meghan get to tour Colombia or not doesn’t really affect our lives, does it? We’ve got our own problems to deal with, like figuring out why our Wi-Fi only works when we stand on one foot in the corner of the living room.
So, to Harry and Meghan—if you’re listening (and let’s face it, you probably are)—maybe it’s time to pick a lane. Either be royals or don’t. This half-in, half-out thing isn’t working for anyone. And maybe, just maybe, consider using your platform for something more substantial than playing royal or not royal.
