Day one of the tour kicked off with Meghan Markle delivering a speech on online safety at the Responsible Digital Future Summit, hosted by the Archewell Foundation in partnership with the Office of the Vice President of Colombia and Illuminat. The event had all the makings of a grand affair—except for one tiny detail: the audience.
In her address, Meghan urged online trolls to consider the values their parents or grandparents taught them before making cruel comments online. It was a noble message, but unfortunately, it seems her words fell on deaf ears—mainly because there were so few ears present to hear them. The situation went from bad to worse when it became clear that Meghan hadn’t quite mastered Spanish, an essential skill when speaking in a Spanish-speaking country. The few attendees who did show up were left wondering why they had even bothered, as the empty chairs around them spoke volumes.
You might think that after such an underwhelming start, they would make every effort to ensure a better turnout for the rest of the tour. But that wasn’t the case. Some have speculated that they may have resorted to hiring a crowd, as they allegedly did during the Nigeria tour, where enthusiastic fans seemingly appeared out of nowhere. But in Colombia, it appears that even the rumored crowd rental was unavailable, leaving the Duke and Duchess to face empty venues alone.
The next event was predictably another flop, held at a location with minimal seating—perhaps a nod to the expected turnout. The idea that people would willingly sit under the blazing sun just to hear Harry and Meghan speak is almost laughable. Unsurprisingly, the crowd was as sparse as ever.
To add insult to injury, the tour was marred by a series of personal embarrassments. Meghan was spotted with sweat stains—a trivial detail, but one that the press eagerly pounced on. Meanwhile, Harry’s thinning hair has become harder to ignore, further contributing to the image of a couple whose glory days are clearly behind them. The stark contrast between their current reality and their once glamorous lifestyle couldn’t be more apparent.
But perhaps the most absurd aspect of this entire debacle is the level of security that accompanied them. Despite the lack of any real crowds, over 3,000 security personnel, including military forces, were reportedly on hand. The sight of heavily armed guards protecting empty venues was almost poetic—a perfect metaphor for the futility of the entire endeavor. One has to wonder why such extreme measures were needed when there was no one around to protect them from.
In the end, the Royal Colombian tour has achieved one thing: it’s firmly cemented Harry and Meghan’s status as figures of fading relevance. Their attempts to cling to the spotlight have only highlighted how far they’ve fallen from it. This tour, if nothing else, has made it painfully clear that the Sussexes are no longer the captivating figures they once were.
