Especially among the Americans I know, there’s a strong dislike for the idea that Harry has distanced himself from his family. He doesn't communicate with them, doesn't talk to his brother, and has never met Meghan's father. It's quite strange. Is Meghan ashamed of her dad? Why hasn't Harry met him? This kind of distancing from family is something that many find very alienating. It’s the complete opposite of what William and Kate have been demonstrating in their recent videos.
Absolutely. A birthday celebration, especially a significant one like turning 40, should be shared with family. Well, it’s possible that members of the Spencer family might attend. However, I can't imagine Harry making the call. I think I've mentioned before about Sarah and Jane, his red-haired aunts—yes, they had that hair color when they were younger.
When Harry came over for his uncle Lord Fellowes' funeral, he was surrounded by them—Lady Jane Fellowes, who is Lord Fellowes' widow and Diana's sister, and his Uncle Earl Spencer. Harry stayed at Althorp, and if he is estranged with the royal family without any sign of reconciliation, could the Spencers be the answer to his desire to reconnect with the UK and build bridges there?
Yes, I think the Spencers could very well be the answer. Harry has always mentioned that he’s been very close to his aunts, and I believe he gets along with his Uncle Charles as well. He stayed at Althorp during the anniversary of Diana's death; that’s where she’s buried. Harry has made it a point to visit her grave every year around her birthday. The Spencers are making a concerted effort to include him. While the Spencer children are adults now, Harry has actually grown quite close to them.
This is your area of expertise—the world of Princess Diana and the Spencers. Do you think the royal family might feel uneasy about Harry getting closer to Earl Spencer? We all remember what Charles Spencer said at Diana's funeral: “We, the blood family, will look after Harry and William.” Are we on the verge of more confrontation if Harry becomes closer to the Spencers?
That’s an excellent point, Matt. King Charles, then Prince Charles, had a significant fallout with Earl Spencer over the funeral arrangements for Diana, and they never got along afterward. Earl Spencer is complex; he’s intelligent but can be tricky. Anyone who has had three wives likely isn't the easiest person to deal with. Yet, he’s a great historian and manages Althorp very professionally. I met him once, though it wasn’t recent, and he was quite entertaining. Diana was close to him until the end, but they had a falling out when she wanted a house on the estate. He refused because he didn’t want the publicity and baggage that would come with it. Diana was hurt and stopped speaking to him afterward, and then we know what happened next.
Diana’s memory is still significant to Harry. He frequently mentions her in interviews, especially to promote his book, where he delves into her memory. I recently read your latest book, and I have to say it’s my favorite of yours. I’ve told you that off-camera, but I’ll say it here too: it’s an excellent read. My mother and I tells the story of Charles and the late Queen, but it also includes quite a bit about Princess Diana.
You spent a lot of time with Diana—probably as close as we are now, having a chat over tea or water. Did she ever talk to you about Prince Harry? She passed away when he was just 12, almost 13. She didn’t mention him often, but I managed to get her to open up a bit shortly before she died while I was researching a book about William and Harry. She expressed her worries about both of them. Initially, she was concerned about William because he showed no interest in being king, saying, “I don’t want to be king.” But her worries eventually shifted to Harry, who wasn’t keen on learning and never picked up a book. I know he has dyspraxia, which makes things more challenging, but she did her best to help him. Ultimately, Harry just wanted to have his mother to himself; he would sometimes pretend to be sick at school just so she would pick him up, allowing them to spend the afternoon watching TV and cuddling. He was very affectionate and close to her.
I remember after William returned from his gap year trip with Operation Raleigh, Harry said, “He’s much nicer now.” The idea that Harry and William were always close is somewhat of a myth; they really only bonded after their mother’s death because they were the only two who truly understood that experience. They weren't particularly close as children. Harry has discussed their sibling rivalry a lot, especially in his book, Spare, where he complained that William ignored him when he went to Eton. To be fair, that’s something older brothers often do to younger siblings. Did Diana ever discuss this sibling rivalry that’s now unfolding in public?
Yes, we talked about it quite a bit. She was concerned for Harry and made a point to ensure he wasn’t treated differently from William. For example, during visits to the Queen, she would pat the chair and say, “Come sit here, William,” completely overlooking Harry, which really upset Diana. One reason she wanted Harry to attend Eton was to avoid people saying he wasn’t smart enough to get in. She was very concerned about his feelings of inadequacy compared to William.
Did this rivalry show itself even when they were younger? Did Diana suggest it was always clear that Harry struggled with issues related to his older brother?
Yes, even at a young age. When Harry first attended Miss Miner's nursery school after William had already been there, the teacher gave him some clay to play with. William had been adept at making model figures, and Harry, feeling inadequate, threw the clay down and said, “No.” From an early age, he felt this sense of inadequacy, which wasn’t caused by Diana or Charles—it was just something he grappled with.
