Meghan Markle’s Rocky Road to Launching American Riviera Orchard: A Lifestyle Brand
Meghan Markle has set her sights on creating her own lifestyle brand, *American Riviera Orchard*, which she appears to believe could rival Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous *Goop*. Let’s take a stroll down the bumpy entrepreneurial road Meghan is paving, mixing high hopes with some questionable execution. Known for her sticky situations—from feuds with her estranged father to a frosty relationship with the royal family—she’s no stranger to the spotlight. But this time, the stakes are higher, and the obstacles are piling up faster than an over-the-top double-decker sandwich.
Now, Meghan finds herself in a trademark fiasco that could make even seasoned business moguls cringe. So, what’s the story? It turns out Meghan’s grand plan involves selling a variety of products, from gourmet homemade jams to yoga blankets and even garden tools. However, her application to trademark *American Riviera Orchard* was quickly rejected—tossed out faster than an overripe peach. The reason? Her team attempted to claim ownership of a name associated with a well-known area in California.
Enter her legal team, led by attorney Margery Witter Norman. You’d think they’d have double-checked the paperwork, but it appears not. The application was not only unsigned but also underfunded. They had enough cash to cover 17 different product classes but submitted only a vague description of garden tools that could range from spades to—who knows—space-age gardening equipment.
Meghan’s plans took another hit when trademark officials pointed out that *American Riviera* is simply too common a term to be claimed exclusively. It’s like saying, “Sorry, Meghan, but you can’t trademark the California coastline.” The official response? “No claim is made to the exclusive right to use *American Riviera* apart from the specified branding.” Next up, will she try to trademark *Starry Sky* for a line of luxury candles?
To add to the mix, the brand’s product descriptions for items like cocktail napkins and pans were deemed too broad, and Meghan’s ambitious idea of “kits comprised of edible oils, fats, preserves, spreads, and butters” left officials scratching their heads. Will these come with a side of pricey therapy sessions to deal with the inevitable dose of reality?
Meanwhile, let’s glance over at Paltrow’s Goop, reportedly sinking faster than the Titanic after hitting an iceberg. With Goop’s recent sales slump, you might think Meghan stumbled onto a golden opportunity. But it’s more like watching a toddler try to play chess—the pieces are scattered, and no one’s quite sure what the goal is. While Gwyneth considers layoffs, Meghan’s apparently planning to recruit former Goop staffers. After all, if you can’t save a sinking ship, why not just jump onto another one?
Goop’s struggles aren’t due to a lack of talented former employees; people are simply tired of paying outrageous prices for items that look like they belong in a thrift shop. In the end, Meghan’s entrepreneurial journey might just be the most entertaining reality show no one asked for. With each misstep, she’s carving a path that’s equal parts ambition and comedy.
