A recent Instagram video from the *Just Plact* podcast has thrown Megan Markle’s latest endeavors into the comedy blender, and the result is pure gold. The three hosts, who seem to have Megan’s number, spent several minutes hilariously dissecting her attempts to stay relevant. Is she trying to be the white Oprah or the black Gwyneth Paltrow? Let’s dive in.
Megan, the self-proclaimed humanitarian who never met a microphone she didn’t like, appears to be gunning for the title of Oprah 2.0. But according to one of the podcast hosts, she’s not even aiming for Oprah status. Instead, she’s trying to be the black Gwyneth Paltrow—a deep dive into the world of Goop, where overpriced candles and wellness advice come with a side of condescending superiority.
One host pointed out that Megan’s accusations of racism against the royal family probably didn’t help her credibility. After all, it’s hard to take someone seriously who claims she’s constantly mistaken for Beyoncé. “If you’re Megan Markle and think that’s the life you’re leading, you’ve got to be dreaming,” he quipped.
Megan’s lifestyle brand is already being compared to Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, which is practically a running joke in pop culture. One host joked, “Yeah, it’s her Goop. But we did Goop, then came Kardashian’s brand, and now Megan’s doing… what?”
The sheer brilliance of this observation is matched only by the audacity of Megan’s attempt to create something with no real credentials to back it up. “Does anyone actually read Megan Markle’s lifestyle website?” one host asked. The room fell silent before he followed up with, “I know some Southern moms who might, but… not me.”
The laughs kept coming as the hosts tried to figure out who actually cares about Megan’s lifestyle tips. “Here’s the kicker,” one host said. “Megan Markle, in a rare moment of self-awareness, changed the name of her American Riviera Orchard because it sounded ‘very white supremacist.’ Yeah, you can’t make this stuff up.”
The hosts mocked her, asking, “Is that why she changed the name? Was it to Confederate Riviera Orchard for your taste?” It’s hard to argue with that point—the name doesn’t exactly scream inclusive or progressive. Instead, it evokes images of a vintage 1920s Southern plantation.
Host Zack Peter didn’t hold back, saying, “Oh, Megan Markle fatigue is real. Someone call a royal nap time. I’m so sick of her.” The zingers kept coming, turning the podcast into a roast session you don’t want to miss.
One host even brought up Megan’s dwindling appeal, saying, “When the gay community starts to lose interest, you know it’s over. I mean, Diana never lost the gays. Megan, on the other hand… well, she’s got issues.”
The hosts drove the point home: Megan Markle is now the royal family’s biggest punchline, and that’s saying something. As they broke down her failed lifestyle brand and mocked her every attempt to break into the wellness industry, it became clear that Megan’s empowerment narrative is falling flat.
“Does anyone really believe Megan Markle, the ex-royal, is in any position to sell us a lifestyle?” they asked. The consensus was a resounding no.
As Megan Markle continues her journey from royal to lifestyle guru, one thing’s for sure: people are laughing. And no matter how many orchards or lifestyle brands she throws at us, it’s never going to stick.
--- Megan Markle, lifestyle brand, American Riviera Orchard, Just Plact podcast, Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop, Oprah, royal family, wellness industry, Zack Peter, comedy roast, pop culture, Instagram video.
