Megan Markle’s quest to become the next Martha Stewart—minus the actual talent—has hit yet another roadblock. This time, it’s not a failed podcast, a canceled Netflix deal, or a PR disaster. No, this time, it’s her ambitious attempt to launch a clothing brand under the name *As Ever*. And, shockingly, she didn’t even bother to check if the name was already taken. Spoiler alert: it was.
Back in 2022, Megan decided to bless the world with her vision of fashion, applying to trademark *As Ever* for a range of products, including clothing, aprons, jams, and even dog biscuits. But in July 2023, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) had the audacity to reject her application. Why? Because the name was too similar to a Chinese fast-fashion brand called *As*. You know, a real company that actually sells clothes—unlike Megan, whose career seems to consist of announcing projects that never materialize.
So, what did Megan do? Did she graciously accept defeat and admit she should’ve done a simple Google search before spending money on high-powered lawyers? Of course not. Instead, she quietly removed the clothing category from her application and resubmitted it in January 2024. And guess what? *As Ever* was finally approved—just not for clothing.
This leaves us with two possibilities. One: Megan abandons her dreams of a fashion empire and sticks to selling overpriced jams and dog treats. Or two: she pivots and launches a completely separate clothing brand under a new name. And what name might that be? Given her track record of slapping her kids’ names on everything, it’s only a matter of time before we see a cutesy little brand called *Archie and Lily* popping up in stores near you.
But let’s be honest—would anyone even buy Megan Markle-branded clothes? Her personal style could best be described as “ill-fitting and beige,” which doesn’t exactly scream “fashion icon.” Everything she wears falls into one of the following categories: doesn’t fit, wrinkled beyond belief, the wrong color for her skin tone, boxy and unflattering, unseasonal, or completely inappropriate for the occasion. And let’s not forget the mismatched shoes and tragic attempts at accessorizing. It’s like she wakes up every morning and thinks, *How can I make a designer outfit look as frumpy and chaotic as possible?* A true talent, really.
The best part of this whole saga? Any competent businessperson would’ve checked to see if *As Ever* was already taken before launching a full-blown trademark application. But no, Megan—ever the embodiment of poor planning—didn’t bother. She’s out here making rookie mistakes while trying to compete with actual fashion powerhouses. And yet, despite failure after failure, she keeps trying. It’s almost like watching a toddler repeatedly attempt to stack blocks, only to knock them over again and again. At what point does she realize that maybe she’s not cut out for this?
The bottom line? If Megan Markle ever does launch a clothing line, prepare for it to be another overpriced, underwhelming mess that nobody asked for. Until then, we’ll just sit back and watch the chaos unfold.
