Meghan—you’ve done it again. Just when the world thought there was nothing left to criticize, you go and commit the ultimate culinary crime: questionable chicken handling.
Forget political scandals, global conflicts, or anything remotely newsworthy—today’s crisis revolves around one thing: The Duchess of Salmonella.
Yes, Meghan Markle has sparked outrage over what can only be described as a shocking display of food hygiene negligence—all caught on camera for the world to see.
The setting? A seemingly innocent cooking moment.
The crime? An absolute disregard for basic food safety.
And the internet? Oh, the internet had thoughts.
“Wow, salmonella with your snacks, anyone?” one horrified viewer commented, likely reaching for the nearest bottle of disinfectant.
“Oh damn, this just proves what we all knew—she knows nothing about food prep.” Ouch.
But let’s be honest—are we really surprised? This is Meghan Markle we’re talking about. The woman accused of everything from breaking royal traditions to triggering international headlines with a single interview. Did we honestly think she would emerge unscathed from the treacherous world of poultry preparation?
According to online detectives (and, you know, basic food safety standards), Meghan’s chicken-handling technique raised more red flags than a reality TV drama.
Was she rinsing raw chicken in the sink? Cross-contaminating cutting boards? Licking the marinade spoon? No one knows for sure.
What we do know is that whatever happened sent shockwaves through the hygiene-conscious corners of social media, leaving food safety experts and kitchen purists utterly appalled.
Because if there’s one thing the internet loves more than a royal scandal—it’s a public health hazard.
Meghan has never been one to follow tradition. She married a prince, moved to California, and carved out a new life far from royal protocols.
But food safety? That’s not something you can simply “redefine.” You don’t manifest proper hygiene, Meghan. The laws of bacteria do not bend to your will.
Now, let’s imagine the potential fallout from this chicken-handling catastrophe.
The horror. The potential outbreaks. The unsuspecting guests at Meghan’s next California soirée, unknowingly nibbling on tainted hors d’oeuvres while discussing the latest sustainable candle trends.
A tragedy in the making.
So, what happens now?
Will Meghan issue a heartfelt apology to the raw chicken community? Enroll in a food safety certification course? Or—brace yourselves—double down by posting a follow-up video of herself making sushi on the same cutting board?
