Stop everything you’re doing—Meghan Markle has just posted a cryptic Instagram clip teasing something “new” about *The Tig*, her long-forgotten lifestyle blog that no one asked for and even fewer remember. Coincidentally, this grand announcement landed on the same day her new Netflix show premiered, because subtlety has never been her strong suit.
The breathy, whispery, pseudo-intellectual delivery of her teaser was so grating, it sent shivers down our spines—not the good kind. The kind that makes you wonder if someone’s running their nails down a chalkboard while reciting their own Wikipedia page.
Meghan’s latest attempt at reinvention is just the same self-important, self-congratulatory nonsense in a different Instagram filter. This time, she’s playing the role of the oh-so-mysterious lifestyle influencer, clutching onto the faded glory of a blog that last made waves when people still thought avocado toast was groundbreaking.
She left the royal family for *this*? To become an Instagram influencer peddling candles and overpriced matcha? At this point, we’re half expecting a “Hey guys, like and subscribe!” at the end of her videos. What’s next? TikTok dances? An OnlyFans debut? Will she start reviewing skincare products and doing “get ready with me” videos?
Let’s be honest: Her audience at this point is probably made up of hate-followers waiting for her next cringeworthy move.
It’s almost impressive how Meghan manages to make everything about her—even her timing is spectacularly tone-deaf. On the same day Dolly Parton, America’s undisputed sweetheart, is mourning the loss of her husband of nearly 60 years, Meghan is out here whispering about *The Tig* like she’s revealing state secrets.
Dolly, who has done more for literacy and humanity than Meghan could ever dream of—without making it a PR stunt—is quietly grieving. Meanwhile, Meghan is trying to convince the world that she’s reinventing lifestyle blogging.
Let’s break it down:
- **Dolly Parton:** A woman who has spent decades giving back selflessly, refused a statue in her honor, and is beloved across the political spectrum, generations, and industries.
- **Meghan Markle:** A woman who threw a tantrum because she didn’t get the tiara she wanted, is trying to convince us that putting a scoop of ice cream on jam is a groundbreaking culinary revelation, and whose approval ratings are on par with used car salesmen and airline baggage fees.
It’s hard to keep up with which version of Meghan we’re supposed to believe in this month. Is she the humanitarian? The actress? The Duchess? The lifestyle guru? The next Gwyneth Paltrow (minus the Oscar)? Who knows?
What we do know is that Meghan has a death grip on *The Tig*, like it’s her last lifeline to relevance. Let’s not forget that *The Tig* originally existed as a blog where she gushed about wine, travel, and other things that made her seem vaguely sophisticated. Now, she’s parading it around like it was some kind of revolutionary cultural movement.
Meanwhile, nobody remembers ever reading it. At this point, she’s just dusting off a failed blog from a decade ago and hoping we mistake it for something new. It’s like when a washed-up boy band reunites to tour county fairs—except even they probably have more staying power.
While Meghan Markle desperately tries to convince us that her return to *The Tig* is something we should be excited about, the rest of the world is preoccupied with things that actually matter—like sending condolences to Dolly Parton. Because unlike Meghan’s latest attempt at self-promotion, Dolly actually *is* beloved. And when she whispers, people actually listen.
