The Duke and Duchess of Desperation are apparently making strategic moves to cozy up to Hulu as their much-hyped $100 million Netflix deal circles the drain. Can you believe it? Actually, of course, you can—because this is exactly the kind of shameless career climbing we’ve come to expect from Meghan Markle and her puppet prince.
The Sussexes have reportedly hired Meredith Mains, Hulu’s former Chief of Communications, who spent three years at the streaming platform. Now, my initial reaction was, “Hulu would never touch these two with a 10-foot pole.” But then I did some digging and discovered something fascinating.
Apparently, Hulu already hosts multiple documentaries about our favorite royal rejects, including Prince Harry in His Own Words, Harry and Meghan: Royals in Crisis, and even The Client’s Mission: Life, Family, and Invictus Games. They’re even streaming the Netflix series that nobody watched. Remember that little Good Morning America interview Harry did that led to a mini-documentary on Hulu? That’s right—these two are already testing the waters with Disney’s streaming service. It’s almost like they knew their Netflix gig was temporary all along.
The strategy is crystal clear: hire someone with insider connections to Hulu right as your Netflix deal is winding down. Translation? Netflix isn’t renewing because nobody cares about your content, and boom—you’ve got yourself a new host to latch onto. And that’s exactly what these two are like. They find a host, attach themselves with those disgusting little teeth, and suck all the blood until there’s nothing left. Then they simply move on to the next victim.
First, it was the royal family. Then Spotify. Then Netflix. And now they’re eyeing Hulu for their next meal. It’s a pattern so predictable it would be laughable if it weren’t so disgusting.
Let’s not forget what happened with Spotify. Remember that supposedly $20 million deal for Meghan’s Archetypes podcast? Twelve boring episodes later, Spotify executives called her a “grifter” and showed her the door. The head of Spotify even admitted the company had overpaid certain talent. Gee, I wonder who he could possibly have been referring to.
Then there was the Netflix deal—supposedly worth $100 million, though we now know those figures were massively inflated. What did Netflix get for their investment? A six-hour whine-fest documentary where Harry and Meghan repeated the same tired grievances we’d already heard in the Oprah interview. And let’s not forget Meghan’s animated series, Pearl, that was so uninspiring it got canceled before a single episode was produced. Oh, and Heart of Invictus? It tanked so badly in the ratings it was embarrassing. No wonder Netflix is reportedly winding down their relationship.
Meanwhile, across the pond, look at Catherine and William. The Princess of Wales has faced genuine health challenges with true grace and dignity. Even during her cancer treatment, she’s made thoughtful, meaningful appearances when her health permits—never complaining, never using her illness for attention or sympathy. The contrast couldn’t be more striking. Catherine focuses on recovery and family, while Meghan frantically schemes to keep herself relevant.
My sources tell me that Netflix gave the Sussexes an ultimatum after their failed projects. They basically said, “Produce something people actually want to watch, or we’re not renewing.” And clearly, the Sussexes couldn’t deliver. So now they’re desperately trying to avoid the financial catastrophe of having no major deals in place.
Can you imagine the overhead cost of maintaining that Montecito mansion, their security team, and Meghan’s designer wardrobe without the Netflix millions? They might actually have to—gasp—live within their means.
What’s truly pathetic is how they’re reportedly begging streaming giants to take them on. But here’s the cold, hard truth that Meghan refuses to accept: nobody wants them because they’re nobody without the royal connection. Every single success they’ve had since leaving the UK has been built entirely on their willingness to trash the royal family. The Oprah interview, the Netflix series, Harry’s memoir—it was all royal gossip and family betrayal. They’ve never produced a single piece of content that stands on its own merits.
And now they’ve run out of royal secrets to sell. What’s left? Another recycled speech about mental health from Harry? Another contrived cooking show from Meghan, pretending to be relatable while wearing $10,000 worth of jewelry?
This strategic hire of Meredith Mains is supposedly going to help the Sussexes “expand their reach in the streaming world.” Expand to what, exactly? Meghan’s cooking show was such a phenomenal success that Netflix is dropping them. Harry’s Invictus documentary was such a ratings blockbuster that Netflix is eager to part ways. Please. The only thing expanding is their desperation.
The irony here is delicious. Remember when they fled the UK, claiming they wanted privacy? Now they’re desperately trying to keep themselves in the public eye by any means necessary. Remember when they claimed they wanted financial independence? Now they’re frantically hunting for the next corporate benefactor to fund their lavish lifestyle.
I want to take a moment to compare this behavior to how our working royals conduct themselves. King Charles, despite his own health challenges, continues to fulfill his duties with dignity and purpose. Queen Camilla stands steadfastly by his side, supporting both him and the monarchy without seeking personal glory. William and Catherine focus on meaningful charitable work that actually helps people, rather than endless vanity projects designed to boost their own profiles.
That’s the fundamental difference, isn’t it? The working royals serve the institution and the people. The Sussexes expect the institution and the people to serve them.
If Hulu does decide to take on the Sussexes—which I personally think would be a massive mistake—I want to see proof of any deal they announce. None of this vague “multi-million dollar partnership” nonsense that we saw with Spotify and Netflix. Show us the actual contract, the real figures. Because at this point, I don’t believe a single word that comes from the Sussex PR machine.
Remember when US Weekly and other tabloids were confidently reporting the $100 million Netflix deal and the $20 million Spotify deal as if they were undeniable facts? And then, surprise—we later found out those numbers were completely made up?
That’s exactly why I’m skeptical of any new deal they claim to have landed.
If they announce that Hulu is offering them, let’s say, $40 million for a five-year contract, I need to see proof. No more smoke and mirrors. No more inflated numbers spread through PR spin.
Show us the receipts—or we’re not buying it.
The saddest part is that Harry could have had it all. He was beloved by the British public, respected globally for his military service and charitable work, and had the privilege of serving his country in a meaningful role. Instead, he chose to throw it all away for a woman who clearly saw him as a ticket to fame and fortune rather than a partner to love and cherish.
