Meghan Markle’s at it again—taking something that’s been around forever, giving it a shiny new name, and acting like she deserves a standing ovation. This time, she’s up against Stanley Tucci, the effortlessly cool actor-turned-food-guru who’s been schooling us all on pasta way before Meghan’s lackluster attempt hit the scene. Back in 2022, Tucci brought us Spaghetti all’Assassina on his Emmy-winning series Searching for Italy—a dish so bold, so in-your-face Italian, it makes Meghan’s soggy one-pot mess look like a culinary felony.
For the uninitiated, Assassin’s Pasta comes straight out of Bari, Italy, where it popped up in the late ‘60s—perfect for pairing with a gritty gangster flick. Unlike your standard pasta, boiled to death in a pot of water like some medieval peasant grub, this dish kicks off dry in a pan, crisping up in olive oil before soaking up ladles of tomato-spiked broth. The payoff? A smoky, crunchy, slightly charred masterpiece that hits your taste buds like a flavor freight train. When Tucci watched master chef Celso Laforgia whip this up on his show, even he—a guy who’s seen it all—was floored. “Honestly, I’ve never seen anything like that before,” he said, eyes wide, practically drooling. And why wouldn’t he be? Tucci gets cooking—he’s not just dumping wilted herbs into a pot and calling it genius.
Then there’s Meghan Markle, who, in her infinite kitchen wisdom, dropped her “one-pot pasta” on the world. It’s so basic it’s almost laughable anyone bothered to talk about it. Her big idea? Chuck everything into a single pan and cross your fingers. Groundbreaking? Nope. Lazy? You bet. Look, there’s a real art to one-pot pasta—precision, balance, finesse to craft a creamy, rich sauce. But Meghan’s version? She boils it all together—yes, even the basil, which should bring bright, fresh vibes but ends up a limp, overcooked wad of green that looks like soggy lawn clippings. No char, no depth, just a bland, uninspired blob that TikTok somehow christened “Meghan’s Pasta.” If that’s not a crime against Italian cooking, I don’t know what is.
Stanley Tucci’s take on food is all about tradition, skill, and respect—for the ingredients, the process, everything. His Assassin’s Pasta isn’t just dinner; it’s a full-on experience. The hiss of the pan, the noodles caramelizing, the sauce sinking in slow and steady, layering flavor with every move—it’s the kind of dish that makes you stop and salute Italian artistry. Meghan, though? She took a shortcut, slapped “innovation” on it, and dished out something closer to cafeteria leftovers. If Tucci’s pasta is a soaring symphony, Meghan’s is a kazoo wheezing off-key. If Tucci’s is a Renaissance masterpiece, Meghan’s is a blurry printout from a dying office printer.
Bottom line: if you want pasta that wakes up your taste buds and honors its roots, go with Tucci’s Assassin’s Pasta. It’s rich, complex, and a shining example of what Italian cooking can be. Meghan Markle’s one-pot pasta? A weak knockoff with no technique, no depth, and no clue about flavor. Let’s leave the kitchen to the pros who actually know their stuff and keep the amateur experiments where they belong—on Instagram Stories that fade away in a day, just like the buzz around another Meghan Markle misfire.
