'I asked the medical staff to let me die'
Emilia Clarke has revealed that she suffered two brain aneurysms that required life-saving surgery.
The Game of Thrones actor, who plays Daenerys Targaryen in the HBO show, said she was unable to remember her own name after the hemorrhage left her in intensive care.
“Meanwhile, the pain — shooting, stabbing, constricting pain — was getting worse. At some level, I knew what was happening: my brain was damaged,” she wrote.
The actor was quickly rushed to hospital where she received a “quick and ominous” diagnosis that she had experienced a subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH) – an uncommon type of stroke caused by bleeding on the surface of the brain.
“It's a very serious condition and can be fatal”, the NHS states.
In the essay, Clarke explained that a third of SAH patients die immediately or soon after the aneurysm ruptures.
She explained: "If I was to live and avoid terrible deficits, I would have to have urgent surgery. And, even then, there were no guarantees.”
Clarke underwent a three-hour surgery and spent nearly two weeks recovering from the surgery in an intensive care unit.
However, the surgery wasn’t entirely successful and Clarke was left unable to remember her name after suffering from a condition known as aphasia – when a person has difficulty with their language or speech caused by damage to the left side of the brain.
“In my worst moments, I wanted to pull the plug,” she revealed.
“I asked the medical staff to let me die. My job — my entire dream of what my life would be — centred on language, on communication. Without that, I was lost. I was sent back to the ICU and, after about a week, the aphasia passed. I was able to speak.”
After about a week, the aphasia passed and Clarke regained her speech before eventually she felt well enough to return to work.
However, the actor’s ordeal didn’t stop there. During promotion for Game of Thrones, she often felt weak and revealed that she had to take morphine for pain relief in between interviews.
In 2013, a brain scan revealed that Clarke’s second aneurysm had doubled in size and required another operation.
Unfortunately, the procedure failed and Clarke suffered a “massive bleed” forcing doctors to operate again, this time accessing her brain through her skull.
While in recovery from the second operation, Clarke said she suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and felt like a “shell of [herself]”.
The actor concluded by revealing that her health has improved in the years since her ordeal “beyond [her] most unreasonable hopes” and it is now at “a hundred per cent”.
Now, Clarke has launched SameYou, a charity aimed at supported young people with brain injuries.
She said she wants to break her silence over her near-fatal health scare to help others who are suffering from the “invisible illness”.
“I know from personal experience that the impact of brain injury is shattering,” Clarke said.
“Recovery is long-term and rehabilitation can be difficult to access. Brain injury can be an invisible illness and the subject is often taboo.
“We must help young adults take control of their recovery and allow them to open up without fear of stigma or shame.”
