The American actress bare her soul on Instagram
Bella Thorne is famous for having been a Disney girl in the time of 2010 playing a teenage dancer and singer in the series Shake It Up that she co-starred with the successful actress Zendaya. Currently, after many plot twists in her life, she is a conscientious feminist and LGTBIQ + rights activist who has started in the world of p-rnography as a director with her film "Her & Him".
The actress, singer and DJ in her eagerness to play all the artistic sticks has written a book entitled Autumn Falls, aimed at a teenage audience and that includes some personal anecdotes about her although it is not an autobiography. In addition to opening up in her novel, she is usually very sincere with her followers on social networks, through her publications and, above all, using the Instagram "stories" tool, Thorne is seen without filters, in every way, and It tells how she faces what happens in her life and the feelings that certain situations generate in her.
For several years, Bella Thorne has been sharing certain controversial posts on her networks, usually showing herself at a party, n-ked or in sensual positions. A behavior that many young women carry out today, but the case of this actress is different, since, as she revealed in 2018, her "obsession with s-x" is due to the fact that she was repeatedly raped when she was a girl.
“I was s-xually and psychologically abused for as long as I can remember until I was 14… when I finally had the courage to close my door at night and sit down and wait. All damn night. Waiting for someone to take advantage of me again. Over and over I waited to stop it and finally I did. Over and over I waited for it to stop and finally it did. But some of us are not so lucky to get out alive. Please stand up for every abused soul” she wrote on her profile.
Despite this, she tries to live her pans-xual s-xual condition in the healthiest way possible and has had several sentimental partners, in monogamy and also polyamorously. However, after the news was made public that she had taken the step into p-rnography (as a director), she wanted to explain to her 21 million followers her fears and insecurities that lead her to give so much importance to s-x.
In the last three posts of her Instagram account we can see a half-n-ked Bella Thorne, lying on the bed, in an intim-te environment, in which she has written two poems and said justification.
"What's my problem? Why do I always need Validation from everyone, but mostly men?" the young woman wonders. "Everyone keeps telling me to be single, to be alone, and to make myself happy. But all of those things sound fucking terrifying to me," she confesses.
Referring to a man with whom it is intuited that she is in love, her partner Benjamin Mascolo, adds "all I want is him. I want him to hug me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me that everything is fine. I want him to look at me in the eyes and let me know that you accept me as I am.
Thorne disassembles in front of the entire world, wondering why she can't accept herself on her own: "For some reason, I'm never good enough in my head, for him or her, or anyone else." In addition, she assures that "if it is not him" she only knows how to find who will be next.
But the reality is that what she really seems to long for is to find herself and accept herself as she is. Given this reflection, she wonders if the s-xual abuse she suffered when she was a girl marked her entire sentimental and s-xual journey for the rest of her life: "Is it because I was annoyed all my life? Exposed to s-x at such an early age, perhaps this is all I know how to offer the world...or is it because I was raised to think I wasn't good enough."
She then understands that she can't "blame her childhood or anyone else for anything" and that "what matters is what's happening to me right now." However, she continues to blame herself for not loving herself as she is, for not looking attractive, and for transmitting her insecurities to everyone around her. Thorne states that she continues to hope that people love her enough to start loving herself in the same way "but at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to reach the final goal is to overcome it" sentence referring to her insecurities .
She further assumes, in this statement, that "you have to hurt in this world. Hurt, love and accept. That's what our emotional world is based on." But she feels disconsolate when she thinks of those three things she only has one: pain. And not a pain that other people have caused her, but that she is causing it herself "by not loving me and by not accepting me".
In closing, she explains to her fans that she "doesn't have an ending" and that she's still figuring it out "as always", leaving the following question hanging in the air: "So, it's okay to know what your ultimate goal is but not have any idea how to achieve it? Probably not, but I can only begin to accept it" he concludes.
