Now, let's get to the heart of the matter. Meghan and Harry had hopes of a cozy Christmas reunion with the royal family, but it appears those plans have gone awry – or should we say, Meghan and Harry are the ones who've drifted away from the royals. Sources close to the couple, if they can be trusted, were whispering about their desire for quality time with their British family. However, the release of Omid Scobie's second book, "Endgame," has thrown a spanner in the works. It's like adding gasoline to the fire.
Speaking of fires, the Christmas table is set, but instead of a majestic turkey, there's just a chicken from the couple's garden. Quite classy, Meghan, very classy. And let's not forget the place mats, which have been replaced with stacks of Meghan's best-selling picture book, "The Bench." It seems betrayal and woes are on the menu today, and they're simply reheated from last year's leftovers. But hey, what's Christmas without a little drama, right?
Auntie Oprah didn't grace them with her presence, and one can only speculate why. Perhaps she's grown weary of hearing about Spotify, coronations, and car chases. Can you blame her?
Meanwhile, Doria and Tyler Perry arrived in a Herz electric car rental. Because, you know, nothing says a Royal Christmas like renting a car. It's quite the fall from grace.
As for the Sussexes' idea of festive fun, it apparently includes Omid Scobie playing the role of the court jester. Forget charades; they're all about fireside storytelling. But don't be fooled; these tales are as phony as they come, and they seem to revel in it.
Their matching cardigans and beanies are just for show, especially during their post-lunch beach walk where they launch ships in bottles. It seems they're on a mission to save the world, one ship at a time. How noble of them.
And let's not forget the royal hangers-on, the HWIs who don't have anyone else to invite for Christmas, so they commune with Diana's spirit, who conveniently tells them exactly what they want to hear. "Megan, you're the fairest of them all," says the ghost of Diana. "And Harry, you're not old and weird." Quite a slap, indeed.
But here's the kicker: the Sussexes can't even muster up a convincing façade of a happy family. The best they can do is stage fake Hallmark movie moments with the kids for those precious Instagram photos. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. The Royal holiday season just wouldn't be complete without a healthy dose of Sussex shenanigans. Here's to another year of Royal drama! Cheers!
