As the annual Met Gala circus prepares to take over New York again, Vogue's iconic editor-in-chief has anointed the new American royalty set to reign over her big bash's red carpet. And guess what? It sure as hell isn't Harry and his tasteless wife. No, Anna reserved that title for none other than the billionaire tech king, Jeff Bezos, and his airheaded glamour-puss, Lauren Sanchez.
Now, can you imagine the screams of impotent rage echoing from Meghan's bourbon-soaked lips when she saw those headlines? Her face must have turned a delicious shade of purple, the same color as those ill-gotten, heinously expensive freebies she'll never get to flaunt. This is a major "butt-hurt" moment for the former cable actress.
After years of desperate angling and underhanded publicity stunts to try integrating herself among the elite style icons, Meghan just got iced out of the hottest party by Anna Wintour. Essentially, Anna is declaring to the world, "Meghan Markle is not royalty, at least not at my event."
The sheer sassiness of the move has me gagging. You just know Nutmeg had visions of sweeping into the gala draped in acres of borrowed haute couture, with jillion-dollar Harry Winston diamonds glistening under the flashbulb strobes. She would have been smugly playing dress-up at the event, clutching a rented Minaudière in each spindly American Lotus hand, while breathlessly lecturing anyone within earshot about compassion and healing or whatever TED Talk she's pushing.
And then, once they were sufficiently centered as the eye of her very media cyclone, the delusional biographer would turn to the psychoanalytic press, flashing away, proudly crowing, "This is what real royalty looks like!" Her ego would be vibrating at the moment.
Well, sorry to say, but all those gaudy, tasteless visions of grandeur just got D.O.A. in an icy cold bucket of reality tea. Instead of gracing Meghan with even a whiff of her G's rarified air, Anna instead plucked up a pair of genuine American royalty to headline her coveted red carpet. And not just any celebrity dyad or pop diva duo, the wealthiest man alive and his glamour-puss as well. Just let that marinate for a minute. For the Duchess of Compassion's biggest night to try forcing herself into the conversation of fashion nobility and a crown, Jeff Bezos and his sexy bae, Lauren, as the true reigning American royals.
Instead, the excruciating, monumental snub has left Meghan gasping. I can picture her gritting those fake veneers and fuming. So much for the Vogue friendship, am I right? The one time I need Anna to hold up her end of the bargain of mutual empowerment for feminism of women and this happens. While the lifeless Ginger nods and placates the other vintage Megan meltdown, you just know that Nutmeg is especially raging internally over not bestowing her long-coveted title upon some pretty but vapid influencer.
