So now King Charles, our newly minted monarch, is sitting on his throne, probably sipping tea from a cup worth more than my house, when he decides to drop a bombshell bigger than Harry’s tell-all book. He’s accelerating the succession plans, and guess who’s not invited to the party?
King Charles, fresh off his cancer diagnosis (let’s all take a moment to wish His Majesty good health), has decided now is the perfect time to start planning for the future. And in true royal fashion, he’s doing it with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop. According to royal author Tom Quinn—because let’s face it, being a royal author these days is like being a professional drama detector—Charles is fast-tracking the succession plans with laser focus on Prince William and Kate Middleton. It’s like he’s planning a royal relay race, making sure the golden baton goes straight from his hands to William’s, completely bypassing Harry’s outstretched palms.
I can just imagine Harry’s reaction when he heard this news. He’s probably pacing around his Montecito mansion, running his hands through that famous red hair, muttering, “But I’m still a prince! I’m still his son! Doesn’t that count for anything?” Oh, sweet summer child! In the Game of Thrones, you win or you—well, you end up doing Netflix documentaries, apparently.
But here’s the real kicker: Quinn suggests that Harry’s exclusion from the succession plans is due to his trust issues and perceived unpredictability. I’m sorry, but “perceived unpredictability”? That’s like saying the Titanic had a “perceived issue” with icebergs. Harry’s been about as predictable as a cat in a room full of laser pointers ever since he met Meghan.
Speaking of Meghan, let’s talk about the puppet master herself for a second. I know what you’re thinking: “But Meghan’s not even mentioned in the story!” Oh, my sweet naive friends, just because Meghan isn’t explicitly mentioned doesn’t mean her influence isn’t all over this like fake tan on a reality TV star. You see, Meghan is the Yoko Ono of the royal family. She came in, captured Harry’s heart, and suddenly the royal Beatles were breaking up faster than you can say “Spare.” And now Harry’s career isn’t exactly topping the charts, if you catch my drift.
But let’s get back to Charles for a moment. This man, I swear, has waited his entire life to become king, and now that he’s finally got the job, he’s planning his retirement faster than a millennial at their first office job. It’s like he looked at the crown and thought, “Nah, I think I’ll just try it on for size and then pass it on to William. He looks good in hats anyway.”
Poor William and Kate are probably sitting there thinking they had at least a few more years of relative freedom before they had to start seriously prepping for the top job. But nope! Charles is like that boss who dumps a huge project on you right before leaving for vacation. “Here you go, kids! Have fun ruling a kingdom. Don’t forget to feed the corgis!”
Now let’s talk about Harry. This guy—oh boy—he’s like that friend who quits the group chat in a huff and then gets mad when no one invites him to parties anymore. Do you really think he could trash-talk his family on international television, write a tell-all book airing all the royal dirty laundry, and still keep his place in line for the throne? Oh honey, that’s not how this works! That’s not how any of this works!
Quinn says, and I quote, “Harry hates the fact that he is being left completely out of the succession planning, but he has only himself to blame.” True words have never been spoken, folks. It’s like Harry took a sledgehammer to his royal bridges and then acted surprised when he couldn’t walk back across them.
But here’s the thing that really gets me: Harry gave up so much for his freedom. He left his family, his country, his royal duties—and for what? To become a professional complainer? To turn his life into a never-ending reality show? It’s like he traded in his royal robes for a victim complex and a Netflix deal.
Let’s not forget about Archie and Lilibet in all this. These poor kids are caught in the middle of the royal soap opera of the century. They’re going to grow up with more drama in their family history than the entire Shakespeare canon. Can you imagine the awkward family reunions? “So, kids, this is your Uncle William. He’s going to be king someday. And this is your dad—well, he used to be in line for that job, but then he decided he’d rather be a full-time interviewee instead.”
The fact that Harry and Meghan are probably sitting in their Montecito mansion right now, frantically trying to figure out how to spin this in their favor. I can just see Meghan now, pacing back and forth, saying, “Okay, how can we make this look like we’re the victims again? Oh, I know! We’ll say they’re excluding us because they’re jealous of our Netflix deal! Yeah, that’s it!” And Harry, bless his heart, is probably nodding along, thinking, “Yeah, that sounds good. Hey, do you think we can get Oprah on the phone again? I feel another tell-all coming on!”
But here’s the real question: What’s next for Harry? He’s burned his royal bridges, he’s been cut out of the succession plans, and let’s be real—his popularity in the UK is about as high as a submarine with a screen door. Is this the wake-up call he needs? Will he finally realize that maybe, just maybe, he’s made a few mistakes? Or will he double down? Will we see another book, another documentary, another interview where he airs even more royal dirty laundry? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts his own rival monarchy—the Kingdom of Sussex—coming soon to a streaming service near you!
But jokes aside, this is a sad situation. It’s a family torn apart, playing out their drama on the world stage. It’s a son being cut out of his father’s plans, a brother being pushed further away from his family. It’s a reminder that even royals, with all their wealth and privilege, aren’t immune to the same family dramas that plague the rest of us mere mortals.
So what’s the solution? Honestly, at this point, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe they need a family therapist. Maybe they need to lock Harry and William in a room together until they sort out their issues. Maybe they need to take a page out of the Kardashian playbook and turn all this drama into a lucrative reality TV empire. On second thought, please don’t do that, Royals. We have enough reality TV as it is!
Or maybe, just maybe, Harry needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and remember who he was before all this drama—before he became the royal family’s black sheep. He needs to realize that no amount of Netflix deals or tell-alls is worth sacrificing his relationship with his family.
But who am I kidding? This is the royal family we’re talking about—drama is practically written into their DNA at this point. So buckle up, folks, because something tells me this royal roller coaster is far from over.
Is Charles right to exclude Harry from the succession plans? Is Harry justified in feeling upset? What’s Meghan’s endgame in all this? Let me know in the comments below!
This is all just speculation and entertainment. These are real people with real feelings—even if those people happen to live in palaces and wear crowns. So while we enjoy the drama, let’s not forget the human element in all of this.
This is your friendly neighborhood royal watcher signing off. Stay tuned for the next chapter in the never-ending saga of Windsor family drama, because if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that with the Spencers, there’s always another twist in the tale.
