Favorite spotlight-hungry celebrity masquerading as royalty—yes, you guessed it—none other than Meghan Markle has apparently been pulling strings behind the scenes like some sort of evil puppet master. And who's the unfortunate marionette in this twisted play? None other than our once-beloved Prince Harry, now reduced to nothing more than a royal lap dog.
I know, I know, it sounds like something out of a bad soap opera, doesn’t it? But folks, you can’t make this stuff up! We got it straight from the horse's mouth—or should I say, the butler's mouth. Former butler to the royal household, Grant Harold, has spilled the beans on what Harry was really like behind closed doors, and let me tell you, it’s a tale of two Harrys—the before and the after.
It’s like watching a real-life transformation, except instead of a magical potion, it’s the toxic influence of one Meghan Markle that has caused this horrifying change. According to Harold, the pre-Meghan Harry was great fun—amazing and down-to-earth. Can you believe it? Our ginger prince, the cheeky chap we all knew and loved, was apparently a regular bloke who enjoyed a pint at the local pub and wasn’t above chowing down on a burger. It’s enough to bring a tear to your eye, isn’t it?
But oh, how the mighty have fallen! This Harry, the one who was so different from traditional royals—easygoing and fun—seems to have vanished into thin air. In his place is a pod person, a Stepford husband, a puppet dancing on Meghan’s strings.
Now, I can already hear the Meghan apologists firing up their keyboards, crying, “People change! Harry’s just grown up!” Oh please! This isn’t maturity; it’s manipulation! Let’s break this down, shall we?
We’re talking about a prince who was once beloved by the nation, who served his country with pride and started the Invictus Games to help his fellow veterans—a prince who, by all accounts, was down-to-earth and approachable. And what’s he become? A whining, complaining, family-bashing shadow of his former self. All because he fell under the spell of a two-bit actress whose claim to fame was being a briefcase girl on *Deal or No Deal.* It’d be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic.
But here’s the kicker, folks: according to our friendly neighborhood butler, Harry thinks he’s following in his mother’s footsteps—Princess Diana, the People’s Princess, the woman who used her platform to make real change in the world. And Harry? He thinks he’s doing the same thing!
Oh Harry, you poor deluded fool! You’re not following in your mother’s footsteps; you’re dragging her legacy through the mud. Diana left the royal family to create something unique to her. As Harold puts it, she used her platform for good to shine a light on important issues and make a real difference in people’s lives. And what are you doing, Harry? You’re airing your family’s dirty laundry for Netflix deals. You’re throwing your flesh and blood under the bus for a quick buck and a moment in the spotlight. You’re letting your wife manipulate you into charity scandals and family feuds. Is this really what you think Diana would have wanted?
But of course, we all know who’s really pulling the strings here—don’t we? Meghan Markle, the puppeteer extraordinaire! This woman walked into the royal family like she was auditioning for the role of queen. She took one look at centuries of tradition and protocol and thought, “Nah, not for me.” She wanted all the perks of royalty without any of the responsibility.
And when she didn’t get her way—when she realized that being a royal isn’t all tiaras and red carpets—she threw the mother of all tantrums and dragged poor Harry along for the ride.
But here’s the thing that really gets my goat: while Meghan’s busy playing her little games—manipulating Harry and trashing the royal family—there are real royals doing real work. Kate and William, bless them, are out there every day, representing the crown with grace and dignity. They’re raising their children to understand their place in history and appreciate the incredible privilege and responsibility that comes with their birth.
And let’s talk about Kate for a second, shall we? Here’s a woman who knows how to handle herself. She came into the royal family as a commoner, just like Meghan, but instead of demanding the institution change to suit her, she adapted, learned, and grew into her role. Now she’s beloved by the nation, respected by her peers, and a true asset to the monarchy.
That, my friends, is what real grace under pressure looks like! Can you imagine Kate ever pulling the kind of stunts Meghan does? Of course not! Because Kate understands what it means to be royal. It’s not about her; it’s about the institution she represents. She understands that being a princess isn’t just about tiaras and ball gowns; it’s about duty and service.
But Meghan? She seems to think being royal is like being a celebrity—only better! She wants all the perks of royalty without any of the responsibilities. She wants the adoration without the scrutiny. She wants to play the victim while living a life of unimaginable privilege.
And poor Harry has fallen for it—hook, line, and sinker! He’s so far under Meghan’s spell that he can’t see the forest for the trees. He’s turned his back on everything and everyone he’s ever known—all for a woman who sees him as nothing more than a stepping stone to greater fame and fortune.
It’s tragic, really. Harry used to be one of the most beloved members of the royal family—the cheeky chappie, the soldier prince, the one who seemed most like his mother. But now? Now he’s just Meghan’s puppet, dancing to whatever tune she decides to play.
And let’s not forget about the collateral damage in all this—Harry and Meghan’s children, Archie and Lilibet. These poor kids, if they exist, are being raised in a bubble, cut off from their family, their heritage, and their birthright—all because Mommy Dearest can’t stand the thought of not being the center of attention. It’s child abuse, what it is! These kids are being used as pawns in Meghan’s twisted game. They’re being denied the chance to know their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. And for what? So Meghan can stick it to the royals? So she can play the victim on the world stage?
But you know what the really sad part is? Harry probably doesn’t even realize what’s happening! He’s so caught up in Meghan’s web of lies and manipulation that he can’t see the damage he’s doing to himself, to this family, and to the monarchy.
Remember when Harry used to be the fun one—the one who dressed up in silly costumes, joked around with the press, and genuinely enjoyed his royal duties? Now he’s all doom and gloom, constantly hopping on about how hard his life is. Mate, you’re a prince! You’ve lived a life of unimaginable privilege. Maybe try a little gratitude!
But of course, gratitude doesn’t fit into Meghan’s narrative, does it? No, in Meghan’s world, they’re always the victims, always the ones being persecuted. Never mind that they’re living in a multi-million dollar mansion in California. Never mind that they’ve got more money and privilege than most people could ever dream of.
No, in Meghan’s mind, their suffering always takes precedence. It would be laughable if it weren’t so infuriating, because while they’re busy playing the victim, there are real victims out there—real people suffering real hardships. But do we hear about them? Of course not! Because in the world of Meghan and Harry, no one’s suffering could possibly compare to theirs.
And now she’s dragging Harry down with her. The man who once seemed so full of life, so dedicated to service, is now nothing more than a mouthpiece for Meghan’s grievances. It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash. We can all see the disaster unfolding, but we’re powerless to stop it.
But here’s the thing, folks: while Meghan might think she’s won—while she might be patting herself on the back for successfully isolating Harry from his family and turning him into her personal puppet—she’s forgetting one crucial detail: the British public isn’t fooled! We see through your act, Meghan. We see the ambition, the ruthlessness, and the complete disregard for anything and anyone that doesn’t serve your purposes.
We see how you’ve isolated Harry from his family, how you’ve tried to rewrite history to cast yourself as the hero, and we’re not buying it! Because here’s the truth, folks: the monarchy isn’t about glitz and glamour. It’s not about who has the biggest Instagram following or the most extravagant lifestyle. It’s about duty, service, and sacrifice.
So while Meghan may be living it up in Montecito, she’s forgetting the one thing that makes a royal: the love and respect of the people. And when that respect is gone? Well, it’s just a matter of time before the crown’s weight becomes too much to bear.
