Another day, another royal drama. Megan Markle is allegedly seething after Hollywood’s beloved everyman, Matt Damon, completely overlooked her upcoming Netflix cooking show. Instead, Damon has been busy promoting comedian Andrew Schulz’s stand-up special—and by promoting, we mean relentlessly roasting Schulz in a viral skit that’s actually funny. Something Megan’s critics say her show is unlikely to achieve.
On March 4th, Netflix is set to release two very different projects: Schulz’s stand-up special, *Life*, where he hilariously dives into topics like IVF, fatherhood, and low sperm count, and Megan’s *With Love, Megan*, where she bakes while wearing designer jewelry. But while Matt Damon is out here hyping up Schulz’s special in the most absurdly entertaining way—by publicly humiliating him in a diner—he has remained dead silent about Megan’s latest attempt to stay relevant. And apparently, this is a huge problem for Megan.
In a skit that can only be described as a masterclass in sarcastic promotion, Matt Damon walks into a diner and mercilessly mocks Andrew Schulz for his upcoming special. He throws shade about Schulz’s parenting, his mustache, and even shouts to the entire restaurant that Schulz’s “balls are full of oatmeal.” You know, standard bro behavior.
And here’s the kicker: it worked. The internet ate it up. Everyone’s talking about Schulz’s special. Meanwhile, Megan’s show, despite its royal branding and Netflix backing, has barely made a blip on the radar. The only headlines she’s getting are about how Matt Damon isn’t talking about her show.
According to insiders, Megan is livid. Here she is, carefully curating an image of grace, elegance, and wholesome cake-baking, only to have Hollywood’s golden boy, Matt Damon, pretend she doesn’t exist. “He had one job: acknowledge her,” a source (probably someone who had to suffer through Megan’s angry rant) revealed. “But nope, not a single ‘Hey everybody, Megan Markle is making cupcakes on Netflix’ moment from him.”
The source added that Megan expected support from Hollywood’s elite, especially from someone like Matt, who has ties to both Prince Harry and Prince William. “She’s incredibly disappointed that he’s out here hyping up a comedy special but ignoring her show, which she truly believes is bringing positivity to the world.”
Translation: *How dare Matt Damon choose jokes over my carefully crafted PR stunt?*
It seems Megan still hasn’t figured out that Hollywood runs on entertainment value. Unfortunately for her, people would rather watch Matt Damon bully Andrew Schulz than Megan Markle frost a cake.
Matt Damon probably wants nothing to do with the never-ending soap opera that follows Megan Markle and Prince Harry. He’s already reportedly caught in the awkward tension between Prince Harry and Prince William, and the last thing he needs is to be dragged into another controversy.
Even if Matt Damon had acknowledged Megan’s show, let’s be honest: would it have changed anything? Critics have already torn it apart before it’s even aired. Media analysts are calling it “boring,” “pretentious,” and “the equivalent of watching someone bake cookies while giving a TED talk about themselves.”
Meanwhile, Andrew Schulz’s special has one thing Megan’s show desperately lacks: humor. It turns out people want to laugh, not be lectured while someone sifts flour in a $5,000 outfit. Who knew?
So, while Megan Markle is reportedly throwing a fit about being ignored, Matt Damon is out here making actual entertainment happen. And if that upsets her, well, maybe next time she should try adding a punchline to the batter.
