Meghan Markle, in her infinite wisdom, has just unlocked a universal mystery: fruit can be arranged in a rainbow. Who knew? Certainly not us mere mortals, who have clearly been shoveling gray, joyless fruit into our mouths without an ounce of creative flair. But fear not, peasants, for Meghan has arrived to show us the way.
In a riveting sneak peek of her Netflix show, With Love, Meghan, she takes on the Herculean task of making a fruit platter. The woman who once graced royal engagements and Hollywood red carpets is now gracing us with the wisdom of placing blueberries next to strawberries in a visually pleasing way. Groundbreaking.
With all the enthusiasm of someone who thinks she’s imparting divine knowledge upon the masses, Meghan explains, “You don’t have to do a big platter of this. You could do this with one small row for your kids for breakfast.” Ah, what a relief! For a moment there, we were all convinced that rainbow fruit had to be arranged in excessive quantities. What a game-changer.
Meghan then drops another pearl of wisdom: “It makes the morning a lot more fun.” Incredible. Astonishing. Revolutionary. We’ve been suffering through dull, uninspired breakfasts for years, and all along, the secret to morning joy was staring us right in the face: color-coordinated fruit. Someone give this woman a Nobel Prize in culinary arts.
Of course, no Meghan moment is complete without a dash of self-congratulation. She takes a moment to reflect on what a “real delight” it is to be a present parent—a statement that naturally raises a few eyebrows. After all, this is the same woman who has spent more time on private jets and red carpets than at home with her children. But sure, let’s all take parenting advice from someone who treats motherhood like an optional hobby.
And just when you think it couldn’t possibly get more thrilling, Meghan finishes her masterpiece with yogurt and flower sprinkles. The audacity. The innovation. The pure, unadulterated genius. This isn’t just breakfast, folks—this is art. Move over, Michelin-starred chefs; there’s a new culinary queen in town, and she’s here to revolutionize the way we think about yogurt.
Naturally, the internet had some thoughts. Chef Cory Vitiello, Meghan’s ex-boyfriend and an actual professional in the world of food, is reportedly laughing his head off. And honestly, who can blame him? Watching someone present sliced fruit as a revolutionary concept is comedy gold.
Viewers, too, are having a field day. “How does she even deserve a show?” one baffled commenter asks. “This is so basic; I’m having secondhand embarrassment,” says another. Someone else suggests she should have added mini brie cheeses to really take things up a notch. The overall consensus? This is Toast 2.0—a tragic sequel to the time Meghan made avocado toast and expected a standing ovation.
Perhaps the most hilarious part of all is the way Netflix is promoting this as a must-watch. If this is the highlight of the show, one can only imagine the soul-crushing boredom that awaits in the full episodes. Hate-watchers may tune in for the cringe factor, but even they might not have the stamina to make it through an entire season of Meghan rediscovering food like she’s the first person to ever slice a banana.
This cooking show is less about actual culinary skills and more about Meghan’s never-ending journey of self-admiration. She’s not just making a fruit platter; she’s crafting a narrative about how thoughtful and present she is. And frankly, it’s exhausting.
But hey, at least we all learned something today: breakfast can be colorful. Thanks, Meghan. What would we do without you?
