Just when you thought the Duke and Duchess of Desperation couldn’t sink any lower, they’ve pulled a stunt so transparent, so pathetically obvious, that I had to double-check it wasn’t April Fool’s Day.
Meghan Markle and her puppet husband, Prince Harry, have now resorted to literally hiring someone who’s a fan of Prince William and Catherine to manage their tarnished reputation. Talk about desperation. Talk about an admission of failure. Let that sink in for a moment. They’re so desperate for public approval that they’re now recruiting from their brother’s fan base.
This latest move is nothing short of a public relations panic button, my friends. Their Netflix deals are fizzling, their Spotify partnership crashed and burned, their endless PR ventures keep mysteriously disappearing, and now they’re scrambling to find someone—anyone—who might be able to salvage their sinking ship. And what’s their brilliant solution? Hire someone who actually knows what real royalty looks like.
Let’s break down this embarrassing development piece by piece. Meredith K. Mains has been announced as their new chief of communications, replacing Ashley Hansen, who clearly saw the writing on the wall and jumped ship back in October. Meredith will be stepping into this role just as Meghan launches her latest vanity project—that Netflix show nobody asked for, called With Love, Meghan and Her Brand As Ever—which sounds like something you’d find in the clearance section of TJ Maxx.
But here’s the kicker that has me absolutely howling: Axios reported that Meredith is a huge fan of the Prince and Princess of Wales. Can you imagine that awkward job interview?
“So, Meredith, we understand you actually admire the very people we’ve spent the last four years trashing in every interview, book, and Netflix special. Perfect. You’re hired!”
What does this tell us? It tells us everything, my loyal viewers. It tells us that Team Sussex has finally, finally recognized that William and Catherine represent everything they desperately wish they could be: respected, dignified, actually royal, and genuinely popular. They’ve watched as William and Catherine’s star continues to rise while their own California experiment crashes and burns. And now, they’re trying to bottle whatever magic the Wales couple has.
It’s like watching a Z-list actress trying to method-act her way into royal relevance. “If we can’t be William and Catherine, let’s hire someone who loves William and Catherine, and maybe some of that pixie dust will rub off on us.” Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Let’s not forget, this comes after their spectacular fall from grace in public opinion. Remember when they first fled to America? The sympathy was flowing, the interview requests were pouring in, and Hollywood was rolling out the red carpet. Cut to 2025, and what do we have? A couple so desperate for attention they’re hiring staff based on their admiration for the very family members they’ve publicly vilified.
I have sources close to Kensington Palace who tell me that William and Catherine had a good laugh about this when they heard. Can you blame them? After being accused of racism, bullying, jealousy, and every other sin under the sun by the Sussex camp, now Harry and Meghan are essentially admitting, “Actually, we need someone who understands why people love you guys—because, well, nobody loves us anymore.”
This is a couple who have burned every bridge, monetized family trauma, disrespected the late Queen Elizabeth II and King Charles at every turn, and now they’re shocked—shocked—that their approval ratings are in the gutter. That their American dream has turned into a nightmare of irrelevance. That celebrities who once fawned over them now pretend not to see them at events.
Let’s talk about the timing, which is no coincidence. This desperate hire comes as Meghan prepares to launch yet another rebranding attempt: With Love, Meghan. Just the title makes me roll my eyes so hard I can see my own brain. After the spectacular failure of her Archetypes podcast (remember that disaster?), she’s back with another vanity project that I predict will be filled with the same word-salad philosophy and name-dropping we’ve come to expect.
And then there’s As Ever, her lifestyle brand that’s supposedly launching soon. What will it sell? Overpriced candles? Jam made by exploited Montecito workers? Merch with fake royal crests? Whatever it is, I guarantee it will be overpriced, underwhelming, and somehow tied back to her very brief stint as a working royal.
My sources tell me that Meghan has been in absolute panic mode as she’s watched her star power diminish. The invitations to A-list events have dried up, the calls from Oprah have stopped, and even Ellen DeGeneres has moved on to more interesting guests. Hollywood has a short attention span, my friends, and the novelty of a former royal has worn thin—especially when that former royal has nothing new to offer except increasingly bitter complaints about a family she chose to join and then abandon.
Harry, meanwhile, is reportedly a shadow of his former self. Remember the cheeky, charming prince who once made us all smile? The dedicated military man who created the Invictus Games from a place of genuine compassion? That man is gone, replaced by a scowling, bearded shell who trails two steps behind his wife at carefully orchestrated photo opportunities.
I actually feel a twinge of pity for Harry sometimes—and only a twinge, mind you. He had everything: the respect of a nation, a close bond with his brother, a meaningful role in an institution that has stood for centuries. And he traded it all for what, exactly? A mansion in Montecito where he’s about as relevant as last season’s reality TV star.
The hiring of a William and Catherine admirer is especially rich given how Harry portrayed his brother in that travesty of a book, Spare. Remember the accusations? The alleged physical fight? The portrayal of William as the privileged, angry heir, while poor Harry was just the neglected spare? After all that character assassination, they’re now hiring someone who likely saw through those bitter fabrications and remained a Wales fan anyway.
Let’s talk about what this desperate move really means for their future. It’s a tacit admission that their strategy of attacking the royal family at every turn has catastrophically backfired. The British public saw through it, the American public got bored with it, and now they’re scrambling to rebrand without explicitly admitting they were wrong.
My prediction? This new communications chief will try to subtly shift their messaging away from royal grievances toward whatever cause célèbre Meghan has decided to champion this month. They’ll attempt to create distance from their previous attacks without ever apologizing for them. There will be strategic leaks about how Harry misses his family but is thriving in his new life. There might even be carefully worded statements suggesting openness to reconciliation—all designed to make the Sussexes appear magnanimous while placing the burden of response on William and Catherine.
But here’s the problem with that strategy: it’s too late. The damage is done. William, rightly, has moved on. Catherine, especially after her health challenges, has zero interest in reopening that wound. King Charles may still harbor fatherly affection for his younger son, but even his legendary patience has limits after being portrayed as a cold, neglectful parent on the world stage.
And let’s talk about Queen Camilla, who has shown remarkable grace despite being one of the targets of Harry’s literary vitriol. She’s risen above it all, focusing on her charitable work and supporting her husband during a challenging first year of his reign. The contrast between her dignity and Meghan’s perpetual victim narrative couldn’t be more stark.
The working royals have done what the British do best: they’ve kept calm and carried on. While Harry and Meghan were selling family secrets for Netflix millions, William and Catherine were visiting food banks, supporting mental health initiatives, and raising three children who understand what duty means. While the Sussexes were giving tear-filled interviews about their hardships from their $14 million mansion, King Charles was navigating the early days of his reign with steady determination.
That’s the difference between celebrity and royalty, my friends. Celebrities need constant attention to remain relevant. Royalty endures because it’s about something larger than any individual.
What’s particularly delicious about this communications hire is that it reveals just how much Harry and Meghan still obsess over William and Catherine. Despite their claims of wanting freedom and independence, they can’t stop measuring themselves against the very family they rejected. It’s like watching someone storm out of a party, declaring they never wanted to be there anyway, then spending the rest of the night peering through the windows to see if anyone misses them.
The sad truth for Harry and Meghan is that the royal family has moved on. There’s a new generation capturing hearts: Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis are growing up before our eyes, representing the future of the monarchy. The Wales family Christmas card last year was a masterclass in natural warmth and genuine family connection. Meanwhile, the Sussexes produced another heavily staged portrait that screamed, “We’re still relevant—please look at us!”
I hear from my sources that Meghan is particularly enraged by Catherine’s enduring popularity. Despite throwing everything she could at the Princess of Wales—implications about making her cry, suggestions of coldness, hints of racism—Catherine’s approval ratings remain sky-high. Why? Because authenticity wins in the end. Catherine never claimed to be perfect. She never positioned herself as a victim. She simply did the work, year after year, building relationships with her patronages, supporting her husband, and raising her children away from the spotlight when possible.
This new hire is the equivalent of admitting, “If you can’t beat them, hire someone who loves them.” It would be funny if it weren’t so pathetically transparent.
And what about Meredith K. Mains herself? She’s apparently worked for Google, American Idol, Hulu, and most recently at Lighted Venture Partners. An impressive resume, certainly, but I wonder if she knows what she’s walking into. How long before she realizes that no amount of PR expertise can fix a brand that’s fundamentally built on betrayal? How many months before she joins the long list of staff members who have mysteriously departed the Sussex employment?
Because that’s another thing worth noting: the extraordinary turnover of staff in the Sussex household. Remember all those royal aides who left after Meghan joined the family? The pattern continued in America, with staff seemingly rotating through a revolving door. What does that tell you about the working environment? About the demands being made? About the reality behind the carefully curated public image?
Ashley Hansen, the previous communications chief, lasted about two years before departing to start her own firm. Her diplomatic statement thanked the couple for their “unwavering support”—which is exactly what you say when you’re making a professional exit and don’t want to burn bridges. Meghan’s response was equally polite but notably self-centered, referring to “our business and creative projects” and making sure to mention “my husband and I”—because heaven forbid Harry be mentioned first in any statement.
The most telling part of this whole embarrassing episode is the desperation it reveals. This is a couple who once thought they could rewrite the rules of royalty, who believed their combined star power would make them global influencers beyond the constraints of the modern monarchy. They thought Hollywood would embrace them, corporate America would shower them with deals, and the public would side with them against the oppressive institution they fled.
Instead, they’re now hiring fans of their estranged family members to try to salvage what’s left of their reputation. They’re launching Netflix shows and lifestyle brands that feel increasingly disconnected from any meaningful purpose. They’re issuing statements about philanthropy while living in extraordinary luxury. The disconnect is glaring, and the public isn’t stupid.
What Harry and Meghan never understood—and still don’t understand—is that respect can’t be bought, demanded, or manufactured through clever PR. It’s earned through consistent action, through putting others before yourself, through service without expectation of reward. That’s what the working royals understand instinctively. That’s why William and Catherine continue to grow in stature while the Sussexes flail from one rebranding attempt to another.
So, as Meredith K. Mains prepares to take on what might be the most challenging communications job in America, I have some advice for her: study what makes William and Catherine so beloved—since you’re already a fan. Is it their constant complaints? Their monetization of family disputes? Their demands for privacy while seeking the spotlight? Or is it their quiet dignity, their focus on causes larger than themselves, their understanding that the institution they serve has endured for centuries precisely because it isn’t about individual glory?
The answer seems obvious to everyone except Harry and Meghan.
We’ve watched this saga unfold for years now, and with each desperate move, each obvious ploy for attention, the Sussexes reveal more about who they truly are. This latest hiring decision is just another chapter in a story of spectacular misjudgment and growing irrelevance. William and Catherine, meanwhile, continue on their path, unperturbed by the noise from across the Atlantic. They know what matters. They understand their role. And most importantly, they recognize that true royal duty isn’t about fame, fortune, or Netflix deals—it’s about service to something greater than yourself.
