Meghan—Duchess of Delusion, Queen of Make-Believe, and Culinary Goddess of Nothing. Just when you thought you’d seen it all, she graces our screens with yet another dose of manufactured relatability. This time, it’s in the form of a Netflix cooking show. Yes, Meghan Markle—the woman who has spent her adult life draped in designer couture, carefully curating her down-to-earth image while ensuring she’s the center of every conversation—has decided to teach us all how to cook. And by “teach,” we mean flail around with a knife like it’s her first time encountering one outside of a Michelin-starred restaurant.
It all started when an unfortunate clip of Meghan attempting to chop produce surfaced online. And by “attempting,” we mean gripping the knife like a toddler handed a plastic toy for the first time. Viewers took to social media, baffled at the sheer absurdity of watching someone who claims to be sharing cooking tips and tricks not even grasp the most fundamental rule of kitchen survival: how to hold a knife without looking like you’re about to file your own fingers off.
Reddit was particularly merciless. “So we’re supposed to learn cooking tips and tricks from someone who doesn’t even hold a chef’s knife properly?” one unimpressed user wrote. Another chimed in, “Bon Appétit, America’s Test Kitchen, Le Cordon Bleu—they all have tutorials on this. Not one of them involves whatever the hell Meghan is doing.”
Even the professionals couldn’t hold back. Michelin-starred Chef Tom Shepard kindly pointed out that Meghan’s technique “leaves a lot to be desired,” which is chef-speak for “this woman has never cooked a day in her life.” He went on to explain that she was using the wrong knife, holding it incorrectly, and generally making the whole process look like a parody skit rather than an actual cooking show.
Chef John Paul Hutkins, on the other hand, didn’t bother sugarcoating it. “This is not stable,” he declared. “Watching her index finger on the spine… disaster unfolding.” He warned that her technique would lead to hand strain, wrist fatigue, and possibly the slicing off of a fingertip or two. Not that we’d wish that upon anyone. Well, almost anyone.
And of course, the wardrobe choice had to be as ridiculous as the knife skills. Because what says “I’m a real home cook” better than wearing a shirt with long, baggy sleeves while waving around a dangerously sharp object? Nothing screams “authentic” like the risk of setting yourself on fire or dragging your sleeve through a bowl of tomato sauce.
