Italians everywhere, prepare yourselves. Meghan Markle has boldly declared that centuries of Italian culinary tradition are merely suggestions rather than established rules. Her new Netflix cooking show, With Love, Meghan, premiered with a truly controversial episode that has sent shockwaves through the culinary community. In this inaugural installment, Meghan tossed aside cultural norms and common sense as she attempted to create what she whimsically dubbed “skillet spaghetti”—a dish that any true Italian would vehemently consider an abomination.
To kick things off, Meghan infuriated pasta purists by referring to pasta as “noodles,” a term that strikes fear into the hearts of Italians everywhere. The first offense was already committed, but it didn’t stop there. Rather than adhering to the classic method of cooking pasta in a pot of salted boiling water—an approach perfected over countless generations—Meghan opted for an unorthodox and rather alarming technique. She simply dumped dry spaghetti into a pan with three cups of water, without any boiling or stirring involved. “Just vibes,” she insisted.
This casual disregard for time-honored practices is enough to make any Italian grandmother clutch her chest in horror. In an attempt to bolster her credibility, Meghan confidently proclaimed that this is how she prepares meals for Prince Harry and their children, Archie and Lilibet. One can only assume this method guarantees that her family will never ask for seconds, given the sorry state of the dish she produced.
Social media wasted no time in delivering a well-deserved reckoning. One user remarked that Netflix had spent a fortune just to showcase Meghan’s glaring lack of pasta knowledge. Another chimed in with a sarcastic suggestion that her next episode might feature tips on making frozen pizza—an equally travesty in the eyes of culinary enthusiasts.
As viewers continued to critique her cooking, many noted that the overcooked noodles looked slimy and unappetizing. One particularly astute observer quipped that it appeared she had made some sort of vegetable soup with a few strands of spaghetti tossed in for good measure.
Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, Meghan topped off this culinary catastrophe by grating Parmesan cheese—only to mispronounce it as “parmigian.” At that moment, Italian chefs everywhere likely felt a chill run down their spines. It’s safe to assume Gordon Ramsay is currently drafting an angry tweet, ready to unleash his signature critique.
In a bid to connect with her audience, Meghan attempted to sound relatable by stating that she prepares this dish in such large quantities that she can pack the leftovers in her kids’ lunch boxes. This revelation, while seemingly innocent, elicited eye rolls from parents everywhere. Surely, no one has ever thought of saving leftovers before. Her attempt at culinary innovation fell flat, and instead of a groundbreaking idea, it felt more like a desperate plea for relatability.
To add to the absurdity, Meghan drew a bizarre comparison between her dish and a Beyoncé song, implying that it was as “cozy” as one of the artist’s tunes. We can only assume this means it was overcooked and drowning in liquid—a far cry from the al dente perfection that Italians hold dear.
Netflix genuinely believed this culinary escapade was worth millions. Fans certainly don’t think so. The implication that Italians have been doing it wrong for centuries is perhaps the most egregious offense of all. Generations of perfected techniques and sacred family recipes passed down through the ages have been glossed over by Meghan’s lackluster skillet dish.
What’s next? Will she tell the French they’ve been making croissants incorrectly? Or offer unsolicited advice on how to prepare sushi to the Japanese? Meghan, we understand you’re trying to be quirky and authentic, aiming to showcase your unique perspective on cooking. However, it might be wise to leave pasta to the professionals and stick to your Americanized fusion dishes—those that don’t risk offending an entire nation’s culinary heritage.
Italians—and frankly, all of us—deserve better. So, arrivederci, Duchess, and for the love of all that is al dente, please put down the skillet. Your take on Italian cuisine has certainly left a lot to be desired, and we can only hope for a return to respectful culinary practices.
