Craig Ferguson is back, and he’s got some choice words for everyone’s favorite royal runaways—Harry and Meghan.
In his latest stand-up special, Ferguson takes a jab at their endless grievances and their, let’s say, creative approach to the truth. Apparently, they’ve taught him a valuable lesson: truth is fungible.
“I can’t be held accountable for what I say,” Ferguson quips early in his routine, poking fun at the modern trend of “personal truths” being whatever one decides they are. And where did he first encounter this groundbreaking philosophical concept? Why, from Harry and Meghan, of course.
“Speak your truth,” they say.
Ferguson, never one to miss an opportunity for a punchline, jokes that he really wishes he had known that concept back in a Glasgow courtroom in 1987.
Of course, his set wouldn’t be complete without taking a few direct swipes at the Sussexes. At one point, he brings up their **infamous “royal racist” revelation**—that bombshell claim that someone in the royal family made a questionable remark about their child’s skin color.
His response? A perfectly sarcastic revelation:
“It’s nothing to do with them being royal. *They’re a family!* If you don’t know who the racist is in your family… *it’s you!*”
And just like that, Ferguson sums up the awkward reality of **family dynamics** with a brutally funny punchline. “You ever been at a wedding where Grandpa wants to say a few words? *No, you will not say a few words.*”
This isn’t the first time **Ferguson and Meghan Markle** have crossed paths.
Eagle-eyed viewers will remember her **2013 appearance** on his late-night talk show—a moment that can only be described as **peak secondhand embarrassment.**
Markle, dressed in an *especially* revealing outfit, put on an over-the-top flirty act that left the audience squirming. If there were a **scale for flirtation**, Markle would have snapped the needle right off. It was obvious to everyone—**Ferguson included**—that he was merely tolerating the whole ordeal.
At one point, Markle even asked him to *pinch her* to prove she was real. Ferguson, ever the professional, played along but **swiftly changed the subject.** Then came an even **more bizarre moment**—a discussion about how she was *completely hairless.*
Yes, you read that correctly.
She giggled along, seemingly oblivious to the sheer **awkwardness** unfolding before the audience’s eyes. The entire interview felt like an **eight-minute masterclass in cringeworthy television**, culminating in Markle reminiscing about her **Catholic school days** and childhood visits to the *Married… with Children* set, where her father worked.
Ferguson, leaning into his signature *cheeky old-man* persona, responded with amused intrigue. And if that weren’t enough, Markle even gave herself a **flirty little nickname—“Nutmeg.”**
Now, in 2025, Ferguson is having the last laugh.
His new stand-up special proves why he remains one of the **sharpest, wittiest comics out there**—fearless, unfiltered, and completely unwilling to tiptoe around sensitive subjects.
And let’s be honest—the bit about **Harry and Meghan** lands perfectly because, at this point, even their most **ardent supporters** have to admit they’ve been *a little much.*
As Ferguson delivers his final punchline—“I don’t know… *whichever whines the most*”—it’s a perfect **mic drop moment.**
